Night and Day Are Opposites
by Absolut Asian
Summary: Rikku has a plan to make Paine loosen up. Will Paine fall for it or fall for something else? Humorous views from both characters. FINALLY UPDATED!
1. Prolouge

**Night And Day Are Opposites: Introduction, Part One**

You know, I just don't _get _how someone can be serious _all the time_.

I guess some people are born that way; but they're no fun to be around, like, ever. All they want to do is mope around and not explain to anyone why they aren't grinning or singing off tune, not carin' who hears them. Those are the type of people who excite me. The boring people are the ones who just won't laugh, won't sing, won't crack a joke, won't do _anything. _It really, really, REALLY annoys me.

So I've come up with a plan.

I'm going to find a person who acts just like that, and I'm going to _pounce _– which means that I'm going to try and make them cheer up and act more…more happy. It kind of worked on Yunie, and Yunie used to (sorry that I'm saying this) act like an old fart, even when she thought she was going to die. But then she started to let loose and now look at her: she's considered one of the baddest and funnest girls in Spira.

It wasn't really easy to get Yuna to change, but I still won in the end, didn't I? And if I can conquer her, then I can conquer _anyone. _Yep, that's me. Wonder Girl.

But there's just a teensy-weensy problem that I have right now: I don't have anyone to use my plan on.

Shoot, I guess instead of just finding someone to make-over, I'll just have to _think _of someone. Hm…ok, it's time to go through my choices. But I don't have a lot! Maybe I'll start with the most obvious, my crew members.

Buddy? Let me think about that one…no, he's already a really nice and happy guy. I like him the way he is, and sweet like candy with a go-get-'em attitude. So I might as well just have to cross him off the list. And that's gonna shorten my choices, and there isn't a lot of them left already…

Brother? Oh _dra kutc cyja ic, _NO. His personality makes me want to puke, but I'm going to have to deal with it. So I'm going to cross him off the list. But I have to remember to make sure that the person I'm trying to change isn't going to be _anything _like Brother. Ick. One of him is way more then enough for me.

Shinra? No, I can't imagine him as a really nice person. And the grinning part would be a problem because he's always wearing that silly mask. I wouldn't be able to see it! Plus, there are a lot of things I already like about Shinra that I wouldn't want to change. To top _that _all off, he's just a kid.

Poopie…there are barely any choices left! I'm gettin' drastic, so it looks like I'll have to look over the other people.

Barkeep? Oh Yevon, _no. _It just…just wouldn't be right. I mean, how exactly could I change a Hypello? Barkeep is already nice and smiles a lot anyways. He's someone – or something – I wouldn't need to change.

I've only got one choice left…

That's IT!

Paine! I'll try and make-over _Paine_! She matches the "serious and grumpy" type exactly. I don't need to look anymore because I have found my person! I swear, by the time I am done with her, she'll be _very _happy and smiling basically all the time. Rikku, _oui yna y kaheic_! She's exactly the challenge I've been looking for…oh, this is so perfect! Perfect and it couldn't get any better! Just think, I could make her stop wearing so much black; we could sing techno songs together; think of the things I could CHANGE about her!

Of course I don't want to change _everything _about her; just the things that aren't delightful about her. Like being serious all the time. Well, I think I just want to cheer her up a bit.

She'll be thanking me by the time it's over...

Man, she'll be thanking me.

- - -

**Night And Day Are Opposites: Introduction, Part Two**

Rikku is plotting something against me, I can just tell.

She's been shooting me weird glances from the other side of the bar, and _every damn time _I catch her in the act, she turns away and starts to giggle in her little girlish voice. To tell the truth, it is pissing me off to no end.

And to top it all off, she keeps on muttering incoherent things to herself. I have no doubt in the world that they're about me. So I need to watch my back in case she is going to pull off one of her pranks again; awhile ago she managed to have a bucket filled with sticky Chocobo feathers spill on my head when I walked through the doors of a shop; another time she placed a large whoopy cushion directly where I sat my ass on my bed. Brother and Buddy wouldn't stop teasing me about that one for at least two weeks.

Well chick, this time I'm not falling for it, no matter what the thing is.

So let's see if I can leak a bit of information out of her. Rikku usually opens her mouth a little sooner then she should, but for once in her life it's going to help someone _besides _the enemy.

- - -

There was the introduction for ya! Hopefully I get some good responses (if I get any at all). The next chapter will be much better, trust me. But I'm not giving _anything _away!


	2. Chapter One: My Burnin' Heart

**Chapter One: "My Burnin' Heart"**

Oh, I hope Paine isn't onto my plan, 'cause if she is its _nada. _So I should stop looking at her right now. I don't wanna give away the master plan just by giggling at what I know she's gonna become. So Rikku, you just got to act _smooth. _Pull off a little bit off your super slickness, and she'll NEVER know.

- - -

I finished drinking up the drink I could never pronounce (and Barkeep being the only one saying it doesn't help to that issue) and slammed the glass down on the table. Ol' Paine actually _flinched _from the noise, and I laughed. "The big bad warrior gets scared by something slammin' down?" She gave me her trademark frown and pretended – really badly – that she hadn't heard me. _Huh,_ I thought. _Maybe this'll be easier then I thought if she's gettin' soft around the edges._ I'm not that sure though.

_Maybe I should study her…ya know, get to know the moves, all that…but in stealth!_

Acting innocent, I slid off the bar seat and slowly started to walk up the stairs. Paine obviously was still pretending 'cause she didn't even flick her eyes my way. That meant that things could go easy as counting _uha, dfu, drnaa. _As soon as I finished walking up the stairs to our beds, I groaned as LOUD as I could and gripped my stomach. (You know, just in case she really _was _watching.) "My STOMACH HURTS!" I screamed with such emotion, such passion, you would think I deserved an award for that kinda acting.

To make my performance even _more _spectacular, I swirled a bit and then bit my lip as I fell onto Yuna's bed. "_Ooh…_" I squeezed my eyes shut.

Barkeep was concerned, unlike _some _warriors whose names I will politely not say. "Ish missh Rikku alright?" I let out another loud moan to make sure I wouldn't burst out with giggles. "Y-Yep," –I swore I heard Paine sigh with relief- "I-I just think I drank too fast or sum'in. Maybe if I r-rest I'll feel better." Barkeep agreed with me and just left it at that. I still kept my eyes squeezed tight, but I know Paine finished her drink and left. A little while after that, the blue one left too.

_Perfect…_

I hopped outta the bed (Yuna's bed smells really…clean) and stopped myself from racing down the steps. Instead I slowly, _slowly _tip-toed down them, praying to any random Al Bhed that they wouldn't creak loudly like they always do. That Al Bhed must've blessed me, 'cause those steps didn't make a sound. Quiet as Yuna used to be.

I stood on the wall as the exit doors slid open, and I looked around the corner to see if anyone was there. _Dang. _Brother was just exiting the elevator. Looked like I needed to come up with something – and fast. Barkeep must've told everyone I was 'sick' because Brother's annoying voice (if you could call it that; I call it noise) ripped through the air, screaming, "RIKKU! I _BROUGHT _YOU _TEA_!" Sheesh. Doesn't this guy know how to let someone sleep?

So I came up with a _kaheic _plan and stayed in the corner. As soon as Brother put one of his ugly feet into the doorway, I smacked a conveniently placed large book in his face. A tray dropped to the floor – along with Brother. I laughed to myself at how I had left a mark on his face and then hurried into the elevator.

Hm…now where is Paine usually? Probably in one of those rooms me and Yuna never went into. Of course before she left us to go back to Besaid, but that's besides the point. I clicked the elevator button and tapped my cute ol' foot (New shoes: courtesy of Luca shopping) against the ground. The doors opened and I walked as silent as I could down the hall until I reached a half open door. There was a bunch of noise coming from in there – and it didn't sound like Brother's voice. I mean someone going through boxes and stuff. I crouched down near the door and took a peek. Paine was in there, going through a bunch of boxes of all of our stuff.

She pulled out a box labeled "Homemade Spheres" and took one out. Now _this _could get interesting. The sphere clicked on – I couldn't see good at all, 'cause I was in a bad spot, but I could still make out the words.

Two guys…no wait, a guy and a girl, who I'm guessin' was Paine – were laughing real loud. Wind swishing by was playing really loud too, so they could've been on the deck of our _very ship. _But what do I know? I'm just assuming. Anyways, the guy was whispering something to supposed 'Paine' but she just said, "Nuh-uh." The guy talked louder this time, and I could make out, "Come on, then how about a hug?" The girl sighed – and now I could tell it was Paine by that sigh – and mumbled, "Fine, but that's it, Buddy. I don't want anybody to think we really _are _together."

My mouth fell open in shock. Buddy? Paine? TOGETHER? The way she said it, it seemed like the two were hooked. Oh…my…YEVON. What would those two be doing together? And why did she sound so misre-

"AGH!"

My thoughts were interrupted as Paine threw the sphere – which basically almost could've KILLED ME! I mentally kicked myself in the butt for being such a stupid poop. I blew my cover, and now Paine would be mad at me…_forever. _I wouldn't ever be able to do fulfill my scheme. And to make to put the filling over the top, I banged my head – _hard _– against the metal wall. So as Paine came out of the room with her sword drawn (scary sight) I was sitting on the floor, rubbing my head with tears in my eyes.

"Rikku?! What are you _doing _here?!" I stopped rubbing my head and bit my lower lip. Had to think fast to make sure she wouldn't know I was spying on her. "Uh…I was…spending the last twenty minutes looking for you!" A suspicious look crossed her face as she dropped her sword. _Phew. _I'm gonna have nightmares for the next coupl'a weeks.

She raised one of her grey eyebrows at me. "For…?" There was the 'I-know-you're-lying-about-something' look. Poop, I need to think of something else. "Well…you see, I was gonna ask ya if you wanted to go out with me to the café in Luca. I was just walkin' down the hall and all of a sudden, this flash of blue whizzed by my face. It scared the Al Bhed outta me!"

That was a good one.

Paine dropped to the floor to help me up. If only Yuna could see how red Paine's face turned when I asked her about the café. "You want to take me?" she asked me as she lifted me off the floor. "Uh…yeah," I dusted myself off and gave her a quick, friendly hug. "Why not?"

- - -

The first chapter – I'm so PROUD! Thanks to all my reviewers and if you could, you should bring in more people to read it! I would appreciate that to no end. Trust me, I would. Oh yeah – the chapter was named after a 2Pac song called "My Burnin' Heart" and for now that is what described Paine for the chapter. Review and hope you stay for the next chapter…


	3. Chapter Two: Ah Shit!

**Chapter Two "Ah Shit!"**

What has gotten into you, Paine? First you decide to open up a bit to some people, and now…you're going on a _date _with _Rikku_? I think I need to slap myself. Or maybe I need to bash my head against a wall. Things are so different then they were before, I don't even _know _who 'myself' is anymore…

-

I don't remember how long it's been since I've been on a date…in fact, to tell the truth, I don't think I've ever _been _on what you can classify as a 'date'.

I mean, there was that one tiny stint with Baralai, but that was only because if I didn't Gippal would frame me for being the one who had _accidentally _(seriously; accidentally!) tripped Nooj and made him fall directly on his face in the Bikanel sands. So I had to swallow my pride (which trust me, is a lot to take down in your throat) and go on a date – but get this damn part – I was also forced to wear a _dress. _With frills.

Can you believe that? FRILLS!

The frills were on the arms of the dress, which was so short it would make Rikku look presentable. I did NOT feel comfortable in that…that _rag _and felt disgusted. So disgusted by the dress that it slapped all of the sarcasm out of my mouth; and so every time Baralai said (okay, _stuttered _is the right word) anything, I could do nothing but numbly nod my head "yes" or "no".

I feel that disgusted right now.

Look at me! I'm sitting on a bed across from Rikku, watching the bimbo sing off-tune while looking through piles of her barely-there clothes. And what is even worse then all of that nonsense is the fact that I'm actually _enjoying _watching her get ready for our 'date'. In fact, I have this strange feeling inside – I almost feel like I'm…_giddy._

Well, to tell the truth, I always get this slightly strange feeling inside of my stomach when I see Rikku. That's possibly because she is so damn _annoying _and she gives me a stomach ache. Or maybe it's because I have a cru…

…Nah.

-

"Are you ready to go?" Rikku's voice snapped me out of my daze as she punched me lightly upside of my head. I blinked for a second before realizing that the two of us were going to a café. "Uh…yes," I stood up and rubbed my eyes, "Whenever you are." She smiled, almost glimmered, and slipped her arm around mine. Left arm and right arm. It seemed to fit just right, but I wasn't going to point that out.

But I _could _point out how much _skin _she was revealing.

I mean, if only Yuna could see her. Even she would manage to shake her head and possibly even wonder if she was related to this bimbo – who I also happen to be taking out for a date.

Extremely short, blue shorts that basically have me seeing much _more _then the upper thigh; a top that I doubt can be _considered _a shirt; and earrings so long and sparkly that my eyes hurt every time I manage a look at them. I'm afraid to see how bright they are under the sun. Oh yes…did I mention that the shirt is _completely _white, so I can see that yellow bra better then I could see Brother's enormous head floating in a sea?

But…okay. Even _I _have to admit the ensemble was pretty damn sexy.

Conscience, shut the hell up.

-

Awhile later we were dropped off above Luca. I had to admit that the night seemed perfect to go out on a date. The time was somewhere in the 5 o'clock hour, so the sky was a – yes, I admit this also – beautiful mixture of colors that could almost make me faint. It made me happy, then embarrassed, and then I remembered I was still linked at the arm with an extremely annoying and bimbo-ish blonde, which made me annoyed, and then I looked to my side as I was walking down a set of stairs and realized the bimbo was _extremely _beautiful, and that just made me feel…corny. Not to forget even _more _embarrassed.

Rikku grinned widely when we finally got to the bottom of the steps and into Luca. She intertwined her fingers with mine and squealed. "Ooh! This is going to be so _great_!" I tried to hold back a snort. She sounded like such a little girl.

Her excitement continued. "Paine! _Paine_! There's a _club_! They built a _club_! Oh, we can go dance! I _love _to _dance_! Do you dance? You know, you'd look really funny dancing…" While she was forever moving her mouth Rikku was also dragging me around the place, from the fountain to a brand-new club over there near the stadium, then to the front of the café. I didn't have a chance to say anything, but then again, do you think I really _could_?

Something happened in my stomach as soon as the two of us stopped in front of the café. I think I swallowed my saliva the wrong way – and my entire body froze. I stopped short, so when Rikku tried to tug me into the building, I just stood like Leblanc's statue of Nooj. She gave me a funny look and flashed me her _pearly _whites. (They almost hurt my eyes more then those damned earrings.)

"Paine? Come on!" She urged, and I just let go of her hand. I seemed to be in a daze, or maybe I was just completely embarrassed (my face did feel rather hot), or maybe both. I basically floated over to one of the benches near the fountain and threw my ass down onto the seat. Rikku was confused, scratching her head as she walked over to me. "Paine…? Don't you want to share a drink with me?" Already she was whining to me because I sat on a bench. But that didn't matter. I didn't want to go in, I didn't think I would be able to handle sitting across a table from Rikku while sharing a drink with her.

"Rikku…go in yourself. Leave me here." I stared directly at her, drinking in the fact she looked wonderful in the dimmed lights of Luca.

She pouted and put her hands on her hips. "Missy! You need to come with me right now because I did _not _come here to drink with me, myself and I! So come on before I hafta FORCE you!" Rikku was playing on the last part, but I just followed her body movements and crossed my arms. (Take _that_) "Well, 'Missy' has changed her mind," Her pout turned into a frown. "Maybe you'll meet a guy you'll like in that club." She said nothing, just pointed an accusing finger at me while her lower lip trembled.

"Well, the guy _could _be nice," I shot back at her. I couldn't stand to see her do that baby act because she knew that I would fall for it eventually. "But you might blind him with those damn earrings of yours." Rikku's lower lip stopped trembling and she burst into tears.

"_Oui yna cilr y buub! Fro yna oui tuehk drec! Tuh'd oui ghuf oui'na sayh! SAYH!_" I was surprised. I didn't think she would start crying and screaming at the top of her lungs in Al Bhed. She was causing a gigantic scene and could RUIN my reputation. Paine, the strong and deadly warrior, being humiliated and dissed by a skinny girl? No way. I'm a warrior, dammit! I have something called PRIDE.

I shot off of the bench and pretended to embrace her so the onlookers wouldn't think I was a jerk. "_Look_, Rikku," I whispered into her ear. "I'll go with you, but only if you SHUT UP." She stopped crying right away and looked into my eyes. "That's good with me!"

Back to her old self again. She grabbed my hands and dragged me all the way into the café.

And for some reason, I let her.

-

Hey guys! I know you're probably screaming at me for ending it there, but I thought the date would be nice to put in Rikku's point of view. Besides, despite the little reviews I'm getting, I enjoy writing this story (and the fans) a _lot_. I mean, writing a sarcastic-as-hell Paine and the forever-hyper Rikku, it's fun. Plus, as much as the lyrics are stupid, this song is based on the song "Ah Shit!" by The Pharcyde. It describes the situation for Paine, doesn't it?


	4. Chapter Three: First Date

**Chapter Three: "First Date"**

I bit down on my lip as I stared at Paine from across the table. She was fumbling with a menu and her eyes were scanning everything in the café. It was _so _funny, but I had to hold in my laughter. It's like the chick is uncomfortable anywhere where she couldn't kill something.  
That is so cute, in a disturbing sorta way.

OoO

"...And to top off my order, I'll have the special."

"Will that be all for you tonight, ma'am?"

"Yep. Oh no, wait! I want...yeah, I want the fruit cup too. I _love _fruit!"

The waiter gave me an up-and-down glance, (I know I'm cute, but _sheesh_, you don't have to be obviously checking me out) and then he turned to Paine, who was shifting in her seat. The waiter posed his pen on the paper. "And what'll you be ordering?"

Paine picked up the menu from the table and skimmed over it again. "Why the hell do you guys have so many drinks to choose from? For five pages, you have nothing but drinks. What a waste."

A vain popped out on the waiter's head. "Ma'am, I'd appreciate it if you just ordered."

She sighed and began to read off of the menu. "Spiran Strawberry?"

"Is that what you wish for, miss?" He scribbled the drink name down on a paper.

She shook her head.

"Oh, this looks like a good one - how about Braska's Berry? Or maybe Seymour's Sweet Smoothie?"

I giggled. The café was" famous" for naming every single one of it's drinks after a person or fiend in Spira. Paine named off at least two pages worth of drinks, and by the time she came up with a choice, the waiter was bright red. Balls of paper that the waiter had written on were spread out on the floor.

"Are you _done_, ma'am?"

Paine smiled and placed the menu on the table. "Why yes, I think I am."

"What will you have then?"

"...I think I'll just have water."

I snorted as he wrote 'water' on the paper so hard that the paper ripped. "Thank _you_, miss." He stormed off.

I burst out laughing as soon as he left. I stole one of my sneaky glances (I am a thief, anyway. Us thieves are sneaky at _everything_) She was grinning ear-to-ear. I'd never seen Paine look so happy...or cute.

OoO

When my motherload of food and drinks and Paine's tall glass of water arrived at our table, I was already friggin' _starving_. I dug into my food, shoving fruit into my mouth and washing it all down with my drink. Paine gaped at me with her mouth in an 'O' shape while I stuffed my mouth silly.

"What?" I asked her, even though it kinda turned out to be, "Mmmf?"

I could've sworn that she wanted to crack a smile. Paine's a really bad actress.

She sipped her water and banged it down onto the table. "Look Rikku," she started. I took my eyes off my second plate of food for a second to meet eyes with her. We looked into each other's eyes for a moment before she burst out laughing.

"Rikku, your cheeks are both filled with food. You look hilarious. But anyway...what I'm trying to tell you is..."

I tried to grin with two food-filled cheeks. Which wasn't really a smart idea, 'cause then I started to choke.

Paine stopped herself in mid-sentence and hopped out of her seat faster then Yuna backed out of her marriage with Seymour. She jumped around nervously, watching me choke and try to spit out the food.

"R-Rikku!" She hopped on her left foot, then her right. I continued to choke (since when did you just stand there hopping when your date is choking?) until I pointed to her water. Paine grabbed it and gave it to me, and I swallowed the whole glass in about ten seconds. But I was still choking.

"_Shit_!" Paine pulled me out of the booth and placed me in front of her. She wrapped her arms around me (Ooh...) and started to squeeze lightly somewhere on my stomach - I wasn't paying attention to where. Finally, after a small crowd had formed, I spit out the nasty looking gobs of food.

I groaned in pain(e). Paine sighed with relief. The small crowd cheered and then went back to their booths.

I sat back down in the booth while Paine went to the bathroom to...do whatever. I didn't care. But I was too busy recovering by drinking up every cup on the table, and then thinking about what Paine had just done.

It was _so sweet. _(I'm a sappy person, but so what?)

OoO

When Paine got back from the bathroom, we both just sat there in this weird silence. She fumbled with her empty glass and I slowly (and CAREFULLY) ate the rest of my food. I wanted to bring up two things; one, what she was going to bring up before I nearly _died_; and how freaking sweet her act was to me.

I finished up everything and pushed all the plates to the side, and then folded my elbows on the table and rested my chin in my hands. "So...Paine." she looked at me. "I just wanted to say that was really sweet!"

She looked skeptical about my gratitude. (Nice vocabulary, huh?) "Rikku, anyone in Spira would do the same to you. Especially the men."

I giggled. "But that was still really sweet. Don't you have _pride_? It just, ya know, disappeared when you saw I was in danger."

Paine didn't crack a smile. In fact, she didn't do anything after I said that. Just looked blankly at my chest. So I got up out of my seat and went to her side of the booth. She backed away a little from me, but I pulled on her arm and made her look at me. She didn't want to look at me. Like she was feeling embaressed, shy and happy at the same time.

Hm.

"Painey," I started. I knew she hated that name, so she looked at me. (Yep. It always works.) "Thank you so _much_. I woulda died if it wasn't for you."

She smiled a little. "Y-Your welcome...I guess."

We hugged, kinda awkwardly.

Well, that was a nice way to start a date.

* * *

After a LONG time, there was the third chapter. That's it? Only three real chapters after five months? Sorry. Ah well. You could thank me for this by reviewing, though. 


	5. Chapter Four: Make You Sweat

**Chapter Four: "Make You Sweat"**

Damn that Rikku. Why does she have to be so cute? Why did her parents have to be blessed with one of the most beautiful creatures on the face of Spira? Why do I have to sit across from this creature and resist the urge to drool over her sexiness? Why does her annoying personality not actually annoy me at all? Why the _hell _does her beautiful blonde hair have to wave in the slight wind blowing in our faces as we walk around Luca?

Okay, why does Rikku have to be _so_ _damn_ _irresistible_?

OoO

The two of us had begun to walk around Luca after we (Rather, _Rikku_) finished everything we ordered. Honestly, I was too embarrassed to open my mouth (I mean, everyone was staring at us as if to say, "What are those two crazy lesbians going to do next?") but luckily Rikku had decided to start talking non-stop once again. I was grateful, for once. But eventually I grew tired of walking around and listening to Rikku's high pitched squeal...I mean voice. As she brought up the subject of Brother's lactose intolerance, I stopped her. I spoke without thinking.

"Rikku, why don't we stop talking and go...uh...to that new club over there?" (I mentally slapped myself.)

The bimbo stopped talking and turned to face me.

_Oh great, _I thought. _She has her excited face on. _(I would have mentally kicked myself, but her shining teeth caused me enough pain)

"R-Really?" She balled her hands into fists and pumped them into the air as I nodded 'Yes' with a grimace. After doing a victory dance (...Why?) she jumped on me and screamed loudly with happiness - in my poor right ear. _Wonderful_.

But I was smart, and I knew that the people (Who had nothing else to do but watch us - come on, I mean, I _know _I'm _sexy _as _hell_, but must you be so damn obvious? Joking.) watching us would no longer assume I was a crazy lesbian - they would think I was a mean, crazy lesbian. As Rikku continued to scream in happiness, I thought quick. Then, to seem nice, I plastered a 'smile' on my face and spun Rikku and me in a circle. Then threw her off of me. Immediately Rikku ran toward the line in front of the club. I sighed and followed her, but not before looking at the name of the club: _Club Spira_.

Oh Yevon, help me.

OoO

The line was long as hell, and it didn't help my patience being at the end of the line. As each person stepped inside the door, doing whatever you had to do when entering a club (I haven't been to many, so I was counting on Rikku to guide the way) I did whatever I could to satisfy my boredom: looking at Rikku's phenomenal ass, (Excuse my hormones) tapping my boots in time to the booming music coming from inside, or watching the people in front of us. But soon my patience became thin and I grew irritated. Was it really worth it to stand in a line for thirty-plus minutes just to see Rikku be incredibly sexy when I could do that anytime of the day? Answer: NO.

"Rikku," She turned. "I'm tired of waiting. Let's do something else." Her eyes grew wide as she shook her index finger at me.

"Oh Paine, you're so silly!" She giggled and hugged me as I stood stiffly with my arms crossed.

I failed to see what was so humorous.

"Painey, you need to loosen up a little bit! I mean, like, just wait until we get inside! It will be _so _fun! We can dance - well, I can dance while you do whatever you want - and there's flashing lights...oh, they're _so _pretty...and all the people dancing...it's _so _nice to be part of it! And there's drinks too." I sighed but decided getting a drink or two wouldn't be too bad. But as I was about to complain some more, a man in a yellow suit and fedora walked up to us. I couldn't see his face because it was covered by the fedora, but I wouldn't really want to look at the face of someone who could wear _that_. That suit looked like the designer had ripped off the skin of a chocobo.

"Excuse me, but I couldn't help but notice you two...especially _you_, miss..." Mr. Chocobo flashed his not-so-pearly teeth at Rikku and placed a hand on his shoulder. Since Rikku isn't very rude, she grinned at him and wobbled a bit (I never mentioned she was wearing incredibly sexy white heels, did I? My _bad_.) as he pulled her towards him. "Uh...sir...?" I wished I brought my sword so I could show him not to touch my woma-I mean, Rikku.

"Rikku, it's just me!" Mr. Chocobo took off his fedora to reveal he was...GIPPAL? (I didn't take back the comment about my sword though.)

"Gippal!" Rikku squealed and they embraced. "What're you doin' here?" He smiled and put his arm around her waist and they began to walk around everyone still waiting in line. I rolled my eyes and followed them.

"I helped with some of the machinery in the club and so I can bring whoever I want to the front of the club. How convenient, huh?" The two of them laughed and he continued to explain but I tuned it out. Several people growled at us (Either growling at Rikku or growling out of anger; I didn't care) for cutting, and then we were suddenly in the front of the line. Gippal motioned for me and Rikku to go inside, and he tipped his hat to the man doing...whatever. The man nodded.

And we were inside.

OoO

The club was bumping from wall-to-wall with people dancing to the music, something everyone young liked. Sounded catchy, I guess. (Man, I sounded old.) Rikku immediately rushed to the dance floor, trying to drag me with her, but I resisted and pushed her off of me (Almost making her fall) and headed to the bar. I turned my head around to take one last look at Rikku, who looked slightly hurt, but she shrugged at me and continued to the dance floor. I sighed (Couldn't hear it though, what with that damn music. It was so catchy it was annoying) and sat down on a stool right in front of the bartender. He noticed me and finished wiping a glass, then asked, "_Fryd'mm ed pa_?"

That is just so damn _cheap_. Obviously "Club Spira" couldn't afford a bartender who spoke other then Al Bhed. Lucky for me I could understand Al Bhed. I pointed up my index finger. "_Uha uv ouin ryntacd tnehgc_." He smiled a blue smile (A blue light was pointed at him at that moment) and fixed up the drink real quick. Nice. I grabbed it from him and downed it in record time. He raised an eyebrow and asked if I wanted another. Wow. That _was _strong. Stronger then I thought. Without meaning to, I let out a _gigantic _belch. Embaressed but determined to survive another drink, I nodded yes.

As I was about to down my third drink, I turned to watch all the people dancing. They all seemed to be having fun, and it looked understandable, until I saw a woman grinding on a guy. Oh man...how is that fun? He'd just go home with an erection and she would look like more of a bimbo then Rikku. Sad, really. (I sighed again, and I still couldn't hear myself) And then I saw Rikku.

Damn. She looked like _she _was having _fun_. There was this big grin on her face, and she was dancing with a group of other random people whom I'm sure she had never seen before in her life. (Bimbo.) But what annoyed me was she was having so much _fun _on a date without me. ...Well, I _was _the one who refused her...but it still annoyed me. She hadn't even _tried _to get me to the floor after I pushed her away. Now I was mad. So I made my glass empty in about two seconds. My head got slightly dizzy after that, but I managed to ask the bartender for another one.

OoO

After about fifteen more drinks, I had to go use the ladies room. I paid the bartender, throwing my gil all over the place, even on the floor. Some people dove for the gil, but I didn't give a damn. I stumbled toward the bathroom, drunk as hell. (I am ashamed to think of what I looked like) As I opened the door, I fell and hit my nose on one of the stall doors. Guess that's what I got for drowning in my 'sorrows'. (I _was_ lucky I didn't get a bloody nose, though) When I was finished with my buisness, I managed to get my dumbass out of the bathroom, only to be confronted by Rikku. She eyed me funny (Even I could see that drunk) and when she finished inspecting me, it dawned on her I was wasted.

"PAINE!" She shook her head and put my hand in hers. "W-Whu?" Rikku threw me down onto a stool and asked for a wet towel. I, of course, was lost on what the hell she was doing. When the bartender threw her the towel, she stuffed it in my face. I struggled to get it off of my face, but Rikku took it off and frowned at me. "I wanted to dance with you too," Her eyebrow slowly raised. "Too bad you're drunk..." She pouted for awhile until she came up with an idea. She took my hand again and dragged me to the dance floor. "R-Rikku...whu...goin' on?"

As we weaved through all the people on the dance floor the alcohol began to slowly wear off. (It always wears off quick. Warriors are immune to everything.) Finally Rikku found a small space near the middle of the dance floor and faced me, holding both of my hands. She noticed how much I was sweating. (Warriors are not immune to incredibly hot places, I guess) Rikku _didn't _notice how much the drinks had worn off. (She obviously thought she was taking advantage of me...)

"Oh Painey," she started, "I wanted to do this earlier before you got so drunk, but I know that wouldn't work! So if that crap you drank wears off and you still dance with me, then I know I should do this plan again!"

What plan? I couldn't ask because I was supposed to be drunk, so I nodded with a blank stare. Rikku jumped happily and let go of my hands, then turned around and pressed her entire backside against me. (Damn. That was embarrassing. I had never had a girl come up to me and press her ass against me. Especially not a sexy blonde one who smelled like strawberries and had teeth who could light up the darkest room in Spira.)

She started to dance in rhythm to the music and I had _no _idea what to do, so I stood there, breathing in the smell of B.O. and strawberries. Rikku turned her head around a bit and grinned. "Aw...ya don't know what to do with me?" She giggled and wrapped both of my arms right above her waist. I blushed. (I am also not immune to gorgeous women) "Now just move back and forth! Follow me!" I reluctantly followed her and found myself enjoying what I once thought was disgraceful. I had never done it myself, so that was why I despised it like Brother naked. But now, (Completely sober) I felt incredibly happy and was having a very good time. As I got more into the dancing, I got more into the "mood", like touching. (And I am _not _touchy-feely. But I guess I'm not immune to the dancing high either - okay, I guess I'm not immune to much) I nuzzled Rikku's neck and did things I would never find myself doing normally. That was just what Rikku did to me. She made me do things I would never do - I didn't know if I liked that or not.

When she stopped dancing, I let go of her and we looked at each other. I forgot that I was supposed to be drunk, and when Rikku's mouth turned into an "O" shape and she blushed, I nearly fainted. "Oh Paine!" She shrieked and started to jump in a mixture of embarrassment and what I think was excitement. (All her emotions are related to happiness so I can't tell them apart)

I felt my face get hot. "W-What?" I turned around and started to head for the club doors so I could leave, ignoring the fact Rikku was screaming at me to wait. Nobody paid attention like outside, thank Yevon. As I was about to head out the door, Rikku caught up to me and accidently tripped me as her foot hit mine. I began to fall, and I hit another person - a girl. But the worst part was we both fell down - me on top of this girl - and my face landed directly in her breasts.

Embarrassed as hell, I scrambled to my feet and helped the girl up to her feet. "I'm so sorry!" I nearly fell to the floor as I landed the wrong way on my right ankle, but I managed to stay up holding this girl's hand. I closed one of my eyes, thinking this mystery woman would slap me, but instead she laughed. "Paine!"

I looked at her face.

Oh Yevon.

It was Yuna.

OoO

Wow. That was an incredibly long chapter for someone like me! It shows Paine's insecurities, her little knowledge of clubs, her falling to Rikku's plan, and what the hell is Yuna going to do? Who knows. Review?

Note: Chapter title based off of Keith Sweat's "Make You Sweat". The last chapter was based off of blink-182's "First Date".


	6. Chapter Five: New

**Chapter Five: "New" (OR Presenting Rikku, Completly Random)**

Okay, like, what the heck?

This is turning out _silru _better then I expected it would. But there are a lotta unexpected twists along the way, I guess.

I mean, I'm supposed to be helping Painey, and that's all, but I'm having a LOT of fun. And she was havin' a lot of fun too, so why did she run away? And why the hey was _Yunie _there when she said specifically in a silly voice, (Soundin' so crazy and excited she reminded me of Seymour summoning his _susso_) "I want to start a family with Tidus." How is she going to get down and dirty with Tidus if she's at Club Spira? And why am I getting off subject?

I'm confusing myself, dang it.

OoO

Yunie gave me a bear hug (She actually lifted ME off the ground! Has she been lifting weights? ) and we both squealed. Then she ushered me and Paine outta the club. (Ya know, Paine kinda let out a little squeaky yelp when I accidently hit her somewhere near her foot. Wonder why?) We parked all our sex-a little boot-a's on a bench outside (Paine didn't fit so she she sat on the ground and pouted) and I started asking Yunie as many questions as possible. But she put her hand up - STOP - and I stopped in the middle of saying, "Are you turned on to clubs now?", so I ended up saying, "Are you turned on?" (I really needa stop saying such random things. I'm too random.)

She giggled and shook her head. "Rikku," I liked it hearing her say my name again. (Did that sound nasty? Ew...) "The only reason I am at, of all places, Club Spira is because I...I...you know."

I raised one of my perfect eyebrows at her. "No Yunie, I don't know. But I _wanna _know and I _wanna _know _now_...please?" Paine snorted, but as soon as I sent her my ready-to-kill look, she shut up. "Uh...yeah...Yuna, can we know?" _I _held back my giggling this time. Yuna blushed a bit. And was it just me, or did she look like she hiding a secret? Ooh, she better tell us...

"I'm leaving everything else away for awhile." Well, _that _was pretty friggin' simple. That's all? I thought. Me and Painey exchanged a look 'cause we _knew _that wasn't all. _Ed luimth'd pa_. Besides that, Yuna had this...this _muug _in her eyes and now I _ghaf _she was hiding something from me and Paine. Somethin' important. I stood up, which was a bad time to stand up, 'cause just then a strangely timed gust o' wind blew directly my way, and my top blew _ymm_ the way up and hit my face. (Someone up there is perverted, I tell ya.) When I peeled my top off my face, Yuna wasn't there anymore, and Paine was laying on the ground flat on her back, with her arms and legs spread out like she was making a snow angel. There was a footprint marked in her face.

Guess helping Paine will hafta wait...

OoO

I called up Buddy (I was still wondering if I should ask him if he ever wanted to get with Paine, but I would find clues...heh heh...oh, how I'm gonna find clues...) to come pick me and Paine up and he _might _have to come down himself to pick up Paine, 'cause she was unconscious, and, I didn't tell Buddy ol' pal this, but I wanted ta see how he would react. (I am _so _good.) But he seemed to be pretty surprised that Paine was knocked out by Yuna. Afterwards, I realized that maybe every man is a pervert after all.

"_Fryd ec ed_, Rikku?"

"Uh..._famm oui ghuf ruf sa yht _Painey _fahd uh y tyda_?"

"_Ed ryc hudrehk du tu fedr sa, yht E tuh'd fyhd du rayn ypuid ed. E's duu pico_. Geez."

"_Fryd ev fa syta uid mega, dah desac_?"

"_Drah E's ujan drana_! _Tuh'd cdynd fedruid sa_!"

I rolled my eyes and huffed. "Buddy, I was _kidding_. But I really was serious that Yuna delivered some serious foot to Paine's face." I knew Buddy was kinda (Ok, _really_) disapointed to not see maybe tha best girl action in Spira since the rumor got around that things got hot and heavy (Maybe just heavy) in Leblanc's room when one of her Goons came to massage her. Ew. Bad Rikku, BAD Rikku! I remember somebody sent out copies of the supposed sphere of that footage and Buddy and Brother gotta copy...and I ended up watching it. Poor Yuna. (Hey, I was _bored_, ok?) I promised myself to never watch something like that ever again.

Anyway, Buddy landed the ship shortly after that and him and Brother picked up Paine, Buddy picking up her head and Brother grabbing her feet. (Heh) We all entered the ship, but I took one last look at Luca before I ran inside.

That was one of the best nights of my _life_!

OoO

The guys dumped Paine near Shinra (Who was _way _too busy being smart to pay attention to us adults) and returned to their seats. I rolled my eyes (Do I gotta do _everything _around here? There might as well be a dressphere for "maid".) and before I started to drag poor k.o.'d Paine to the elevator, I just _happened _to say very loudly, "You know, maybe, just _maybe_, if some certain very _eligible_ Al Bhed bachelors weren't so lazy and friggin' careless, they would score, like, _all _the ladies in Spira."

Brother looked up in interest, like he was almost thinking, "YUNA?"

I grinned my best grin. "But, ya know, if they just keep bein' lazy and careless, they're never gonna get any chicks! I mean, if they're REALLY good, then they could land a girl like LEBLANC! Or at least one that dresses like her."

Buddy looked my way and cocked an eyebrow in interest. (Am I in a ship full of perverts or what? Poor Shinra. He's just a kid.)

I started draggin' Paine up the stairs - "OOF" - (She is a _lot _heavier then she looks...I think all the weight is in her head. Ya know, her ego. Heh. Ego.) and continued talking to my audience. "_And_, ya know - _ouch_ - there _is _also a big ol' chance that you can get back together with a girl you once went out with," I shot a quick look at Buddy. He didn't seem affected, but den I looked a little bit closer...and his right eye twitched.

Oh _really_?

Just before the doors closed in their faces, I just HAD ta add one more comment to add another big ol' hint Buddy's way, so I gave the biggest smile I had in me and I winked at Buddy. "Who knows, ya guys should man up so much that maybe even _Painey _will be interested in you guys. Maybe one of you more then one." Brother gave me a dumb look but you-know-who blushed a color redder then my scarf, and I giggled, then made my grand exit away from those perverts. Ew.

Ya know, Paine looks kinda cute sleepin'. Besides that big ol' footprint.

OoO

After the amazing task of carry Paine up to her bed, I plopped down on Yuna's and groaned. My hands were _really _sore and I didn't feel like moving anymore. So I just looked at Paine. For a _long _time. I was thinkin' to myself, maybe this plan o' mine will be a lot easier to pull off then I thought. I mean, I could, like, _tell _Painey was having a lotta fun with me at the café and at Club Spira. (Especially Club Spira) So since this plan was going well, I could put it off for a little bit and go check on Yunie.

I couldn't help but grin to myself because I am just _so _good. In fact, I had to praise myself so much, that I put my hands behind my head, fell back onto Yunie's bed, and laughed. "She is just _too _easy." I laughed again and turned around to check on Paine. Her eyes were kinda barely open, and she looked pretty out-there. Like a cross between a hangover and a really, _really _sleepy Wakka. She was starin' at me talk to myself.

"Who is too easy?"

Poop-_e_. Someone up there _really _was picking on me today.

I hadta think fast. (I swear, if I was an anime character, then I woulda sweatdropped.) Paine sat up and started rubbing her eyes. "Who's too easy, Rikku? I'd love to know." She got up and started walking towards ME. Gulp. I still hadn't thought up a good reason, and Painey was approaching me fast with this _naymmo faent _look on her face that I never saw before. Hopefully she was still trying to wake up...'cause it looked that maybe Paine was gonna do something that would maybe be very uncomfortable. So, I blurted out, "Yuna. Yeah, Yunie! I mean, Yuna! I mean...well, I don't know what I mean. Actually, yeah! S-She's just too easily convinced to do somethin'! I betcha someone made her do something bad!" Why was I freaking out?

After all, the only thing she did was sit down next to where I was layin' down on the bed. But my heart was still beatin' really quick. Paine still looked really sleepy too. Wait a sec...was she sleep walking? Ya know how people are "sleep walkin'" but they're acting like they're awake? I think Painey was doin' that. Either that or she was a great actress. She did her little smile and she met her eyes with mine. Thinkin' about it, ya know, her eyes looked really...how to say it...soft. Really uncharacteristic. I gulped and sat up. "Uh...Paine..."

"Rikku," she stopped me and smiled a real ol' smile. _Smile_? Paine? Hey, if I never knew her before and saw her smile, I would say it looked pretty normal to me. (Oops. Gettin' off subject again) "I know this has nothing to do with Yuna, but she is really not so important anymore. We're moving along with our lives, and I am enjoying it - for now at least."

She _had _to be sleep walking. Paine doesn't enjoy anything.

"Even though you did dance like a bimbo at the club, and even though it was because of you I got drop dead drunk, that doesn't matter. It also doesn't matter that I had to pull off the Heimlich maneuver on you and you made me look like a crazy lesbian. I actually, secretly, very much enjoyed our date. It was a very extemporaneous thing to do on your part, but it was very worth it. But next time you should wear a skirt. Then it would be se-"

I blushed. Paine never complimented me. Dat was really sweet...but _what _was she about to say!

Paine took my hand in hers and squeezed. "What I'm saying is," she put this dramatic pause in and took a deep breath. "I would love to go on another date with you. It's...exhilarating." (I have no idea what she's saying with those big words, but who cares? It sounds corny and romantic enough. I love that) I blushed even redder. "Thanks..." I wasn't supposed to be blushin'! I was supposed to be happy that she was enjoying it! I honestly don't know why I was embaressed. I never get embaressed.

"So when would you like to go out again?"

I snapped outta my "daze" and looked Paine in the eye. "Uh..." Maybe Paine was already, like, cured of being boring and never smiling. Maybe she just woulda never told me... "Soon," I tried to grin and stop blushing. Ya know, I'd never been so embaressed. (And I was still tryin' ta figure out why I was. Maybe 'cause Paine was complimenting me using big words?) Except for that one time when I caught Brother in his room, freshly outta the shower, in nothing but a towel, drooling over a picture of Yuna in various dance moves.

Paine smiled at me even wider then before and inched a little closer to me. "You're blushing, Rikku."

"I-I am? I didn't notice."

She raised an eyebrow at me but was still smilin' like had before in her life. "I must relish this moment...I've never seen your face so flushed...it's like I'm seeing the true aureate way you glow for the first time. It's breathtaking."

Ok...this was going nowhere. Even though Paine was telling me what I already knew (I am great, ya know.) I jumped off the bed and headed for the stairs. "Look Paine, I really have to go check to see if Buddy has tracked down Yunie...uh...yet. I know you'll understand." She looked disapointed for a second, and said, "But Rikku...I was about to experience your beauty! Come back! then she BOLTED after me, almost tackled me and we both fell down the stairs (For a sleep walker, she sure was acting like Brother), rolling like some kinda boulder rolling down a hill. And when we reached the bottom of the stairs, I landed right on top of Paine. Ya know, in that suggestive kinda way. (And now I was _really _blushing) "Missh Rikku? Missh...Paine? What exactly ish it yoo two are doing?" Paine had her eyes closed for a second, but then they shot open and she started to blush as soon as our eyes met. I scrambled to my feet (Hitting her in the ankle on accident in the process) and started jumping around, embaressed.

Buddy also happened to walk in as soon as I fell on top of Paine.

How was Paine gonna react...?

OoO

Okay, that chapter was a staller. I have much to put in the next chapter. Like, Yuna has a big surprise for our synergy. Paine and Buddy's reaction. Maybe another big surprise explaining Buddy and Paine. Together? Or just friends? Or something else? And Paine seems to sleep walk. We'll see more of her romantic, corny sleep walking side later on, I can bet you. REVIEW and tell me how bad this staller chapter was! I won't mind.

(This chapter was named after No Doubt's "New".)

****


	7. Chapter Six: Never Fall In Love Again

**Chapter Six: "I'll Never Fall In Love Again"**

Dammit, someone needs to explain how exactly I wake up on the ship with Rikku on top of me.

Either I am still not awake and in some unusually short fantasy (I prefer to say that over 'wet dream') or I just woke up in heaven.

I never knew heaven could be so hot.

OoO

An awkward silence insued as soon as Rikku scrambled off of me and I had jumped to my foot. (Rikku kicking me in my right ankle _again_ was just sheer luck) Nobody was moving, not even an inch. Barkeep was shooting the three of us glances, Buddy was standing in the doorway looking like an idiot, his jaw basically hitting the floor, his eyes fixed on me, and Rikku was blushing in a corner, blocking her face from all of us with her arms. None of us spoke until I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to know how the _hell _I end up waking to a bimbo sitting suggestively on top of me. I wasn't even sure how I even passed out in the first place, because I just remembered seeing Yuna, and then this incredible pain in my face, and then waking up to swirling eyes.

And then there was the distinct taste of _shoe _in my mouth...

I threw daggers at Buddy with my eyes, and he staggered back, his mouth still open. "H-Hey, I don't know what's going on here! I just walked in to tell you Yuna is somewhere in Besaid right now. I think I'll be leaving now..." Before I could send him more glares (If looks could kill, he would be dead right about now) he ran to the elevator, but not before tripping over his own foot and hitting his face on the elevator door.

Rolling my eyes in Buddy's direction, and ignoring the ignorant comments being made by Barkeep ("Yoo have anger ishues, Missh Paine?") and hopping over to Rikku, picking her up to face her in the face. (It is very hard to balance on one foot while holding a person, and I was wobbling quite a bit)

"W-What?"

"Rikku, what the _hell _is going on?"

She was biting her fingernails nervously as she looked me in the eyes. "N-Nothing, P-Paine..." Her voice seemed to fade out as I eyed her carefully. Guess I had to take a different approach than the one I was taking. I _knew _there was a big story behind all of this bullshit.

I dropped her to the ground and cocked an eyebrow. "Rikku, what happened in Luca? I don't understand how I could have just blacked out for no reason." Rikku's facial expression changed into shameful, or maybe that was embaressement, but whatever it was, she was trying desperately to cover it up. (And was doing a horrible job at it, too. Her face looked strained, like she was...er..._constipated_.)

"_Rikku_...come _on_. Tell me."

Her respect points were going downhill fast.

She looked up at me with that same strained expression. "Paine...I dunno how ta tell ya this...I don't want to...do I _have _to?"

Yevon, I didn't have time to deal with babies. My patience was expiring and I wanted to get off my foot. My eye twitched as I crossed my arms. "_Yes_. Hurry _up_." She took a deep breath. "Well...uh...remember, Yunie told us she was leaving everythin' else away for awhile? W-Well, she obviously was hidin' somethin', 'cause then she..." Her voice seemed to fade away again, into a whisper.

"What? I can't hear you."

"I said...Yuna knocked you out."

"_What_?"

"Yeah...and then I called Buddy and...uh...I dragged you here, and..."

"WHAT? Why didn't you wake me up first?"

"I didn't think o' that, okay!"

"What-I mean, _Rikku_! I have PRIDE-"

"Yeah, yeah, you have _pride_. But ya gotta admit, would Shinra or Buddy or BROTHER care about you being knocked out by Yuna and having this large footprint marked in your face? I mean...oops."

_Footprint_?

I touched my face and felt an outline. Oh _Yevon_. Yuna had kicked me in the face. And I was knocked out by that. No wonder I tasted shoe in my mouth. (Yes, I've had someone kick me in the face before. I can recognize shoe. Not that I'm proud of that...)

My pride has taken a serious beating today.

OoO

All of us were in the bridge, no one looking at anyone else. We had all decided that we would put off finding Yuna to tommorow because it was getting late. Also, Rikku had told me the rest of the story while I listened in shame. She told me about me talking to her while I seemed to be unconscious; she told me it was 'sleepwalking'. By the time Rikku finished talking, I had turned a dark shade of purple.

I was too embaressed to talk to anyone else. There I was, leaning on the stairway rail, my arms crossed, my face burning. The shame of being knocked out by _Yuna _still lingered in my chest. I am a _warrior_, I mean, come _on_. That's pathetic, being t.k.o'd by one foot. Also, I really wished that Rikku could be on top of me like that in a different situation. That was _not _the way it was supposed to be.

But worst of all, it seemed that Rikku didn't _want _to be in any kind of situation like that with me. The way she didn't look me in the eyes while she was talking, her body posture, her wobbling voice, the biting of her fingernails...thinking about that, that's more of a blow to my pride then wearing a frilly dress.

Dammit.

OoO

I was in a sullen mood as I went to bed that night. I refused to even so much as glance at Rikku, who tried to cheer me up, and at one point even said she would love to go on another date with me, (She didn't look too convincing) but I ignored it all and just slipped under my blanket, turning my back away from Rikku. I still felt her eyes lingering on me as she finally decided to go to sleep, and Barkeep turned off the lights, leaving me alone with my feelings. Why the hell was I hurting like I had an injury or something? This was getting ridiculous and I hate sulking as much as I hate the thought of Brother kissing Leblanc.

I almost turned around to see if Rikku was sleeping, but there was no need. A loud, deep snoring filled the room. The snoring was coming from Rikku's side of the room, and it wasn't getting any quieter. As Rikku's snoring progressed, I managed to hop down the stairs without being noticed. But I got lucky that Rikku didn't wake up when I got to the end of the stairs, because I landed on my right ankle _again_ and let out a loud "OUCH!".

After walking out of the elevator, I made my way to Buddy's room. Without bothering to tell him I was coming, I barged into Buddy's room. A figure sat up in the bed and yelped. "Can't you at least _knock_?" I shushed Buddy as I turned on the light and leaned against the wall. "Oh. Paine. What do you need?" Rolling my eyes and pointing a finger at Buddy, I spoke. "You know and I know what I'm here for."

Buddy squinted in the blinding light. "What...Paine...? What do you need?"

I breathed in. "Buddy. Think."

His eyes got large. "_Oh_..."

"Right."

"Paine...I can't help you...not that _again_..."

"BUDDY!" I exploded.

He rubbed his eyes and pulled his goggles off of a nightstand, still trying to adjust to the light. "Paine," he said as he faced towards me. "It's not going to work. Really, it didn't work out that well the first time, so there is _serious _doubt that it's going to work again."

A vein throbbed in forehead. "It will, Buddy. There is nothing else to distract her-"

"There's Yuna..." he pointed out.

"We can get rid of her!" I blurted out without thinking, then slapped myself. "I mean," I started again. "I'm sure whatever she is hiding from us isn't that big of a deal. Rikku will notice this time, I promise! And she might, she might, you know, _confront_ me! Then...then...then I'll..." I came back down to Spira and realized how stupid I had been this entire time. (So much for that pride thing. I'm insulting myself.)

Buddy sighed. "Then you'll what, Paine? It's kinda pointless."

I groaned and plopped down next to him on the bed. "Yeah," my anger dissolved along with most of my energy. "You're right. Trying to make her jealous would be pointless." Buddy nodded and gave me a tiny smile as I fell into the bed and wiped my face with my hands. "The entire 'Buddy and Paine dating' thing was pointless. Rikku never noticed, and she never would have. I don't even think she likes me in that way." Buddy laid down next to me. He had heard me complain about Rikku this way many times over. "Nah. There might be _something _there. You just have to tell her how you've felt about her this whole time."

"But I _can't_, that's the thing."

"I have the confidence in you. You can do it."

Buddy is too damn nice in my opinion. He was just humoring me, it seemed to me. He knew perfectly well that during the entire time from when I joined the Gullwings to right now I could never, _ever _admit to Rikku that she was the object of my affection. I had come up with the _brilliant _(High amount of sarcasm there) plan halfway through the 'look-for-Tidus' journey that Buddy and I would pretend to be, you know, _together _and maybe Rikku would notice, and in a flash, would admit she was jealous. But, of course, that plan sucked major ass, and the only thing that was ever admitted to me was from Buddy, and that was him saying he thought we should maybe _really _be together. (Eh.)

I turned towards Buddy. "Buddy, you idiot. I _can't_."

"Maybe not right now, but eventually, yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"_Yes_."

"Shut up."

He laughed and tugged my spike gently. (He is also too damn affectionate.) "You know, if you don't tell someone your feelings before it's too late, that moment might just slip from your hands, and then you'll never be able to do it. So do it while you have the chance. Or Rikku might be taken away by someone else." I rolled my eyes. The last thing I needed was words of wisdom from a dumbass.

Buddy (To my horror) kissed my cheek before pushing me off the bed and shooing me out the door. "I believe in you." Then the door closed behind me.

And I was face-to-face with Rikku.

She looked at me with wide eyes, then glanced at the door, then her gaze shifted back to me. Then, I think she was trying to say something, and she stopped. Her lower lip trembled (Why?) and she ran off.

I think she only saw him kiss me.

_Damn _IT.

OoO

Early the next morning, Rikku and I were dropped off at Besaid. We were basically silent as we looked inside each of the houses, except for the one time that Rikku thought that a Blitzball player was Yuna, because they had a long braid and was rather big chested. (Hey, don't ask me.) Through all of this awkward silence, I was trying to think of the best way to approach Rikku.

Oh yeah.

_Explain_.

But I did _not _want to do that. Remember, (I constantly am telling myself, it seems like) I have PRIDE. A little too much, I suppose.

Two hours into the search, I was beginning to think this was ridiculous. There was no sign of Yuna, and we had just finished searching the cave. It seemed the fiends were really angry today, because around every corner there had to be one. By the time Rikku and I got out of the cave (Really, we were thrown out of there by a gang of fiends) we were out of energy and had no desire to go on. Rikku was mumbling how "this was a major pile of poopie" and I was thinking how unfair it was, that, after I tried to cure my ankle multiple times, it didn't work. And the ankle was bitten and/or slashed or even banged. I was in such bad condition that I didn't even notice that Rikku had collapsed into my lap. Nor did I notice that Yuna was standing at the edge of the beach, looking off into the distance. Fortunately, Rikku did notice, and she immediately jumped up and ran towards Yuna, who saw Rikku right away and began fleeing to the dock. They looked like two little kids, playing a game of tag. Rikku had her arm stretched out, screaming "Come over here!" and Yuna was screaming like a maniac, avoiding Rikku at all costs.

Eventually they both got out of my sight, so I limped over to the dock and found a strange scene: Yuna laying flat on her stomach, pinned down to the ground with her hands behind her back by Rikku, who was sitting on Yuna and struggling to hold her down. (Yow...sweat glistening Rikku.) I limped over _there _and pulled Yuna up, holding her by the back of her shirt. A look of frustration crossed Yuna's face, and she pouted.

"Alright," Rikku began to pace back and forth. "Spill it, Yunie."

"Spill what?" Yuna looked around innocently.

"What didn't ya tell us yesterday night? I _know _that there was somethin' important ya had ta say."

Yuna said nothing. For awhile there was nothing but silence, except for the sound of Rikku tapping her foot impatiently on the dock wood. Finally, I dropped Yuna to the ground and pulled out my sword, placing it right next to Yuna's horrendous braid. She stopped dead and her eyes shifted to me.

"If you don't tell us," I smiled evilly, "Then I will cut this entire thing off."

Rikku caught on quickly. "Oh _yeah_, she will." She grinned, but didn't even give me an appreciative nod or anything.

Yuna swallowed. "Uh...oh..._fine_! I didn't want to tell anyone yet, because I wasn't ready, and I'm _scared_, but...ooh, fine! I'm pregnant with Tidus' baby!"

Rikku and I froze in our places. Rikku's mouth trembled in shock, while I dropped my sword to the ground. As Rikku spoke, her voice broke.

"_What_?"

OoO

Well, that wasn't as humorous as other chapters, but it was a major part of the story. You weren't expecting that last part with Yuna, were ya? Ha. Nor were you expecting that Paine has been feening for Rikku for a long time, huh?

So what will Rikku be thinking about the kiss Buddy gave Paine? And what about Yuna's situation? And will Paine ever get together with Rikku? Will Paine ever confront Yuna about the foot? Dammit, why are there so many questions?

(This chapter was named after Elvis Costello's "I'll Never Fall In Love Again")

REVIEW!


	8. Chapter Seven: Wishing It Was

**Chapter Seven: "Wishing It Was"**

Ya know, I've had bad stomachaches, _really _bad cramps, and injuries that would make even someone as strong as Auron cringe, but this _has _ta be the worst I've ever felt. I mean, I don't think I've _ever _felt somethin' this horrible before. There's this pain in the pit o' my stomach and my chest is burnin' and my heart feels like it's gonna burst and I have this friggin' headache that makes my head feel big and…and…I dunno.

Now are these feelings comin' from Yunie or comin' from…

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? POOPIE!

OoO

Yuna looked at me with a whole buncha tears in her eyes and sniffed. (I hate it when she cries! Which just made me feel even worse then I already felt. And I already felt like POOP!) "Oh _RIKKU_!" She screamed and threw herself at me, and Yunie is _heavy_, so the two of us crashed into the water. When our heads got to the surface, Yunie was still crying like someone died and was squeezing me so tightly around the neck I thought _I _would die.

"Yunie…yes…it's v-very…_painful_…couldja let m-m-me _g-g-go_?" I tried ta spit out a mouthful of water and manage ta talk with Yunie choking the living Al Bhed outta me. She kept on sobbing and saying these things I couldn't understand. ("I-I da! I-I DA!") And stupid, big meanie Paine wasn't doing anything except staring at the two of us with one of her eyebrows raised. This morning I had told myself to avoid talkin' or even _lookin_' at Paine at all costs, (Buddy too, that big…well…I don't gotta insult for him.) but I really didn't have a choice, so I shot my best glare at Paine and mouthed to her "If you don't help me you will be in some _real deep _poopie." She didn't even flinch. In fact, that poop turned away! SHE TURNED AWAY!

That puts me in an even worse mood then I already am. Could this day get _any _worse?

Yunie kept crying me a river, but I took hold o' her shoulders and looked her straight in the eyes. "Look, Yunie. Ya don't gotta be scared."

She sniffed. "W-Why?"

I grinned and hugged her. (Nothin' like that headlock grip she had me in) "'Cause me and everyone are always here for ya. No matter how hard your situation, Yunie, we love you always. We're gonna help you through this."

Yunie grew silent.

"I dunno…" She sniffed again.

I kissed the top of her forehead and grinned. "Don't worry, silly. Trust me."

I helped her get out of the water, and then pulled myself up. (Lucky I'm not fat, 'cause it was hard enough to pull myself outta there) Then, with a wider grin, I wiped off Yunie's tears and tried to look sincere for her. (But to tell the truth, I was still pretty friggin' shocked. When she told me it hit me as hard as Vegnagun) She got real silent and then looked at me with so much fear and…and…_love_ that I actually gasped. Whoa. Yunie never looked like that _ever _before. Not even when she was pinin' for Tidus.

She got down on her knees in front of me and grabbed my hands with hers. Tears were streamin' down her face again.

Gee, I sure feel like crap. Maybe almost as bad as Yunie.

"Rikku," she moaned to me. "Please swear you'll stay by my side no matter what. You two are my closest friends. I need you…_please_."

Oh, man.

"I swear." I pulled Yunie up again and embraced her a second time. I looked over her shoulder towards Paine, who was standing there with her arms crossed, her head held high, and I swore I saw some tears up there in her eyes. I got even more shocked. But why wasn't she talkin'? Paine was actin' like her old self again, the one before we really ever became friends. She was acting cold, silent, and wasn't being helpful.

That hurt a lot, for some reason.

"Paine, what about you?" Yuna let go of me and turned towards the pride filled jerk. (Wow. I was angry) "You'll stay with me too, won't you?"

Paine turned and looked at the both of us. She looked like she couldn't speak.

"Yuna, I swear."

Then she walked away.

OoO

Yunie joined me and Paine back on the ship. We told the guys what was needed to know, and they tried to console poor Yunie (Brother hugged her and forgot to let go…what a _tisso_. Now's not the time to try and get in Yunie's pants.) but I could tell she really just wanted to be left alone. So Barkeep fluffed up her bed and she shut us all off, diving under those covers and not comin' out. That hurt a lot too, 'cause I'm her _cousin_, and I just thought she would be able to tell me everythin', 'cause, ya know, we had this really tight relationship. But now that we haven't talked in awhile…I guess it's changed.

Gee.

Starin' at the bump in the bed that was Yunie, I started to think. And I came to this conclusion; maybe change ain't all that good. 'Cause Yunie can't even tell me what's wrong now. Other things have changed too…and Paine might be one of those many things too. Well, she is. 'Cause she's already changed too, in this short ol' time.

But…she's changin' for the better, isn't she? I mean, she's lightenin' up, even if she's doin' it slowly…and I like the new Paine a lot! So maybe some change is good. There's somethin' good about change…yeah…there is!

UGH.

Then there's that one part with Buddy…Paine _is _with Buddy! _E vnekkeh' ghaf ed_! Yep, from the moment I listened to dat one sphere, _click_, I knew it, Paine had a thing for him. And just last night proved me right, 'cause I saw Buddy _kiss Paine_! AND SHE LET HIM! BOOYAH!

…But I'm supposed to be happy for Paine, right?

I mean, she finally gotta boyfriend, me and Yunie used ta always bother her about that. And…and she seems to be able to tell him everythin', so I guess I did change her for the better. But honestly…

…I think I wanted her to tell _me _everythin'.

Too bad that ain't the way it works! Nope, see Rikku, ya just gotta deal with the facts! Paine did change, and you should be happy! She doesn't need you anymore! In fact, she never _did _need you! She doesn't even speak to you anymore. Just look at what happened at Besaid…she didn't even talk to ya the entire time! You wantin' to still have a friendship…or even a relationship with her, that dream is over.

Poop.

I need to stop beatin' myself up. I just feel even worse.

Ya know, I haven't been this depressed since those shoes I wanted at Luca were snatched off by Donna.

But maybe Buddy can cheer me up. No matter if he's datin' that old bag Paine! Who needs her anyway? (Besides Buddy?) And Buddy was my friend _way _before that poop of a friend Paine was. So I _deserve _to talk to him. Ya know, I deserve a lot more then what's bein' given to me right now!

Oh, who am I kiddin'? I just wanna see if I can eavesdrop on another one of their conversations. Maybe that'll cheer me up a little…

OoO

As I snuck down the hallway to Buddy's room, it was pretty friggin' quiet. It seemed like everyone was eatin' their lunch or were takin' a nap. So it made it even easier to press my ear against the wall to his room and listen. I heard a coupla muffled voices, but I _knew _it was Paine and Buddy!

I stopped listening for a second and gritted my teeth. Why was this whole datin' thing makin' me so friggin' _angry_! Or maybe it wasn't angry…maybe it was just that soup that Brother made today. (It tasted as good as my big toe) But either way I was gettin' all worked up again and I had _hu etay _why I was. So, I just started listenin' again.

"Now, I know this seems a little weird, especially for me, but I wrote a poem expressing my feelings."

"_You_? YOU wrote a _poem_?"

"IS THAT A SURPRISE!" I swore I heard a sword drawn.

"No…well…yes, I have to say. You just don't seem like the type of person who would write a poem. Especially about feelings like that. I was just a little shocked, I guess. Your feelings are much more serious than I thought."

"Yeah, they are. But this thing with Yuna just made some real deep words come into my mind. It was like, 'Damn, where did that come from?' I've never said or written anything like it before. I'm pretty proud of myself."

"Alright, let me hear it."

There was this long ol' silence, and then the rustling of paper, and then Paine started speakin' in this low, weird voice.

"Hey beautiful,

If only you knew how you made me feel inside.

When I see you,

And your beautiful behind,

It makes my eyes tear up and I feel like crying.

When I look at your stomach,

I start to feel-"

Buddy coughed loudly. "Paine," he sounded like he was trying not to laugh. (I was trying not to laugh too…Buddy has no butt! It's like a pancake!) "Please tell me that this is not seriously what you call 'real deep'. That's…" He stopped.

Paine grunted. "What, are you telling me that this isn't soul bearing and painfully honest and deep?"

Buddy cleared his throat. "…It's painfully honest. I don't know about soul bearing and deep though. Here, why don't you let me help you? I was always pretty good at writing poems to secret crushes and what not."

I raised an eyebrow and scratched my head. Why would Buddy be writing to himself? I mean, that just ain't romantic…

There was some more shuffling. "How about this…? Just throw that cra-I mean, poem away and come tell me what you think of this. It won't be a poem; it'll just be like a love letter of sorts."

"Don't call it a love letter!"

"But what else _could _you call it?"

"A highly romantic and loving message."

"Fine."

Paine sighed and then I heard a bed creak. (If I hadn't known better, I woulda said they were about to get down and dirty)

"Dear-"

"Don't say who it's to. I don't want anyone to know about this letter. It's Paine's highly confidential letter."

"Alright, let's start again."

I pressed my ear as hard as I could against the wall. They were talkin' so low I could barely hear anything. Either way I was cheered up a little at how amazingly dumb Paine's letter was. (He he.) Even _I _could write somethin' better then that, and I was never good with what's-it-called…oh yeah. Lit-it-ture?

"Okay. You start, Buddy."

"My aureate beauty…"

"That sounds great!"

"…If only you knew and understood the deep feelings I carry for you."

There were some more noises, and Buddy started talking again. "What do you want to put in the letter?"

Poopie, I wanted to see what was going on! I stomped my foot quietly, wishin' I had brought my friggin' weapon so I could poke a hole on the wall. Who cared if it wasn't inconspicuous? I _wanted to see_. Then I noticed there was a tiny peekin' hole on the door. I thanked Uncle Braska and Auron and whoever else was up there blessin' me. Then this little voice in my head told me not to stand too close to the door. But I did anyway.

The two of 'em were sitting there on the edge o' the bed, with Paine looking over Buddy's shoulder while he had this paper sitting on his lap. They looked so UGLY TOGETHER! I wanted to puke 'cause it was worse then Brother and Yuna. EW!

Paine scratched her head and got her thinkin' face on. (Ya know, when she raises her eyebrows and puckers her lips all up) "Hm…let's hear what you have. I'll help you as you go along."

"Alright." Buddy started writing.

"Let's read from the beginning," Paine tapped his head. "I want to hear the entire thing."

"My aureate beauty, if only you knew and understood the deep feelings I carry for you. I don't seem like the type of person who would burden these types of feelings, but behind this vest, I have a heart too. I could be wrong, but I feel like something could be going on."

Paine raised an eyebrow. "Let's not get too much into that. Let's start describing what I like about them." Buddy nodded and started scribblin' furiously again.

"But let's talk about you and why I adore you so. When I first saw you, I couldn't address what made me melt. You were like an angel in clear vision."

Another eyebrow raise and a scratch to the head. "Talk about the hair."

Buddy sighed. "Your flowing blonde locks took my breath away as I watched them shine like the sun, so bright and beautiful."

Huh? Buddy doesn't have 'flowing blonde locks' of hair! Unless you count that one time when he grew out his hair to his waist…but we didn't even _know _Paine back then!

Paine got thinkin' again and didn't speak for a moment or two. Then it was like I basically saw a light bulb pop up on top of her head, 'cause she jumped up and grinned, like she was a genius. "Now talk about the physical features…those are one of the best parts."

I never knew Paine was such a _pervert_.

"I can't help but get lost every time inside that green sea known as your eyes. Your flawless smile makes even the darkest of days light up. And I cannot find one imperfection about your body. Every delicate curve and crevice is to behold, for they are so perfect."

Those two are really creepy, thinkin' about it. Who wants their boyfriend to have curves?

"Now what?"

"Uh…here, let me see that." Paine snatched the paper and pencil outta Buddy's hands and she started writing.

"Some people think that the physical things define what's within, but that is not true for you. Not only are you truly a blessing for sore eyes, but you also have one of the richest and sweet personalities to ever fall on the face of Spira."

"Ooh, nice. Here, gimme."

Buddy snatched it back and _he _started to write again. (I didn't know writing a love letter could be so…exciting.)

'Your laugh is like the soft tinkling of an instrument; quiet but melodious. Not even the most painful of emotions could affect you."

Heh, if this were me they were talkin' about, then they would be _dead _wrong on that last part. Me, I may act all tough as nails on da outside, but on da inside, I'm like ice; I can crack at the slightest tap. (I am _so _good at those metaphor things)

Paine groaned. "Let's end this, right now. Let me see that, dammit." Buddy handed it to her kindly.

"That is just one of the many reasons I lust after you. But, as I am weak in courage, I cannot give you my name. I will settle for loving you from afar, where it is safest. However, just know that someone will always be watching over you."

Buddy snorted. "That sounds stalker-ish." Paine agreed and quickly erased that line from existence.

"Either which the sacred geometry of chance works out, I will always be here for you. Sincerely…what should I use as the signature?" Paine thought for a moment and started saying some of the worst love signatures I have _ever _heard, including 'Your lover secretly hiding her love from you secretly'. I seriously wonder how bad Paine's pickup lines are. Heh.

Ol' Buddy eventually stopped Paine from going any further. (She was gettin' more and more ridiculous as she went on) "Look, Paine. How about you let _me _write the signing off? It'll be easier that way. I am honestly the more poetic of the two of us…" And with that, Paine handed over the paper, sulkin' the whole time.

Buddy tapped his head. "Hm…"

Paine scratched her leg and said the same thing. Finally she decided on what she was going to write, grabbing da paper and writing somethin' slowly and not saying it out loud at all.

So then I had the sudden urge to jump in and help them. Too bad I don't think before I act, because I burst through the door without a second thought. Paine looked up at me and turned a deep shade of red, and Buddy scrambled to hide the paper. He eventually put it under his butt. They both grinned innocently, shooting glances at each other before lookin' back at me.

"Whatcha guys doin' that's worth bein' secretive over?" I winked at Paine and stuck my tongue out, and she just gulped and backed up into the wall. Buddy's whole forehead was shiny with sweat. I got nose-to-nose with him clucked. "What's up your butt, Buddy?" He laughed nervously and patted his behind.

"It's nothing…nothing at all, Rikku! Me and Paine over here are just writing how we're going to rearrange all those spheres in the storage room, that's all. It's nothing that is really of your concern!" I shot a mean look at him for a moment but grinned widely about two seconds after. I affectionately flicked his forehead and plopped my booty between the two of them, puttin' my arms around both of their shoulders.

There was a weird silence between da three of us as we sat there, me with my arms around both of 'em, Paine huddled up in some sorta ball, and Buddy with a paper sticking out from under his butt. (And a red mark on his head where I flicked him) Buddy carefully moved his left arm, slowly, precisely, so nobody could see him quietly scratch his booty. Of course, Paine and me saw.

I sighed. "So, why exactly can _I _not see this? Especially if it's just about movin' some spheres!" I started to reach out for the paper, but pulled my hand back. I didn't want ta touch down there.

Buddy jumped up and grabbed that dang piece o' paper. "R-R-R-Really," he stuttered. "I-I'm…gonna…arrange the spheres right now! See ya!" And he was outta that door so fast I swear he left a cloud of dust behind.

Paine shifted uncomfortably under my arm and got off the bed too. She offered me a shaky hand. "Do…" she blushed again. "Do you want to walk back with me to our beds?"

I looked at her hand for a moment. Did she just expect me to forget what I had seen last night? She _knew _I was gonna ask her about what exactly went on last night when Buddy kissed her. And Paine was a big ol' jerk to me today…how was I s'posed ta forget that?

But I moved my eyes up to her face, and I was surprised at what I saw. There was hurt, embarrassment…and…and…apology? Behind all that red I saw all of those emotions. She _did _know. Oh.

I smiled and took her hand in mine.

"Sure," we started ta walk. "I'd love to."

OoO

Since Buddy's room just so happens to be located at the bottom of the ship, it was gonna be awhile before me and Paine got to our beds. I didn't really have a choice but ta make some conversation with her.

I scratched my head. "Paine," I cleared my throat. I was about ta tread in dangerous, pain(e) filled territory. So I had ta brace myself. "Is it alright if I…ya know…ask a few questions about ya self? They aren't too personal or nothin' and I'm just curious about you." Even in the dim light in the hallways I could tell that Paine was blushing redder then ever.

"You…you want to _know _about _me_?" She adjusted her shirt and coughed. (A very fake one) "What exactly _do _you want to know about me?" I grinned and punched her kinda hard in the arm. She flinched.

"C'mon, it's not like you got anything to _hide _from me or nothin'."

She coughed again.

"Well, Rikku, if you must, then ask."

My grin got bigger. "Alright, are you single, or are you hooked to someone?" She coughed for the third time, except this time it sounded like a cat hacking a hairball out of their mouth. I patted her on the back to help, but she just pushed me away. She shot me a 'you-went-too-far-now' look. (Lucky she wouldn't use her sword on me or I'd be _uha zielo _Al Bhed _cdayg_.

"Rikku, that is not even somewhat close to being 'not personal'. Ask me another question. I'm not going to answer the last one."

"So you DO have a boyfriend! Or is it a girl? Oh, if it's a girl, I can take her shopping with me at Luca! Ooh, is this person cute? Ya know, with that outfit-" –I gave Paine an up-and-down look- "-and those piercin' red eyes, it wouldn't be any surprise if your boyfriend slash girlfriend were pretty hot. Watch out, I might just steal them." I nudged Paine and winked.

She paused for a second, rolling her eyes, then she started to walk again. "You are one hopeless child." I just grinned.

"Answer the question, Paine. I don't have all the time in Spira." She rolled her eyes again and shook her head.

"If I did choose to have a boyfriend _or _girlfriend, then I certainly would not discuss it with you." Paine noticed the hurt in my eyes and immediately had ta explain herself. "B-Because," she stuttered. "I'm…I'm not too open with things like that. So that's why." I started to grin again, which meant that I forgot to turn on a corner, so I walked right into the wall. Dang, I was about to ask her a question, too.

Paine stopped walking and raced back to the pile that was me on the floor. She poked my head. "Are you alright?" Since I had fallen face-first to the floor after hittin' the wall, I couldn't really speak, but I lifted my right arm and gave her a thumbs up. I managed to lift my face up, which was most likely red, and said, "_E-E'ja hajy paah paddan_." Then I plopped my face back on the floor.

OoO

"Rikku? _Rikku_?"

My vision was all blurry for a sec', then got clear. Where the hey was I? Lookin' around, it looked like I was in my bed. Besides, I felt all warm and comfortable. And there was somethin' all warm and damp on my forehead.

Paine was sitting on the right side of my bed, staring at me. "You were knocked out for maybe an hour or so. I almost decided to leave you on the floor, but you looked too pitiful there. So I put you on my shoulder and carried you over to your bed. You were completely out." Wow. Paine is stronger then I thought. (That's a good thing…heh.)

I was still tryin' to wake up. I grabbed whatever was on my forehead and wiped my face with it. Oh. A cloth. Nice. Looks like ol' mean and tough Paine had a soft spot somewhere there. She was still lookin' at me, and I swore I saw concern in her eyes. Ooh, she _has _changed! That is friggin' great! I shook my head and looked back at her.

"Paine," I said. "Thanks. I really appreciate it. A whole friggin' lot."

She shrugged. "Whatever. It's just common courtesy, Rikku." But she was blushin'. Aaw…

I leaned over and squeezed her tight. When I let her go (She was beet red) I said, "Ya know Paine, you aren't so bad once ya really get ta know ya. You actually are a human bein'."

Paine laughed and laid down next to me. "What else would I be, Rikku? That's just ridiculous."

"Oh, I dunno. A shoopuf?" She laughed again and faced me.

"How about I treat you to breakfast tomorrow? Just the two of us, no one else. On the deck. You'll like it, trust me."

I was surprised, but for some reason I was very pleased too. "Why…sure. I'd be _honored_."

We both laughed.

OoO

It took me from July 29th to August 12 to write this entire chapter, because I was so unfocused. I am not too pleased with it, but it is not so bad.

Also, for the love letter, I took several lines from songs.

In this order: "Don't Worry" by The Game, "I Wanna Be Down" by Brandy, "I Still Love You" by 702, "If I Ain't Got You" by Alicia Keys and "Shape Of My Heart" by Sting. Plus, the chapter is named after "Wishing It Was" by Santana. Reviews greatly appreciated. (Thanks for the 11 reviews given last time! More! MORE!)


	9. Chapter Eight: Mesmerize

**Chapter Eight: "Mesmerize"**

Oh, I'm hyperventilating.

I'm having breakfast with Rikku – _Rikku_! – how the hell did I get myself into this? This is insane…oh shit, oh shit, oh SHIT! What the hell am I going to do? What should I wear? Should I wear something special? Well, I don't have any real special clothes…unless you consider the suit I wore when I murdered my first Tonberry…never mind, that doesn't count. Oh shit…I'm going crazy.

AUGH!

OoO

I woke up that morning with sweat on my brow and a double knot in my stomach. Two words bounced all around my head, driving me psycho; _breakfast _and _Rikku_. Not that those two words had any negative meaning, 'cause really, they didn't, but nonetheless, they were there and they were bouncing up and down, up and down, like Rikku jumping for joy after she had too much sugar. Constant reminders of what was probably thirty minutes away; reminders that I was going to most likely trip over a stair and fall directly on my face, or that I was going to well…mess the whole damn thing up.

_But I'm just one hell of a paranoid woman right now._ _Breathe in, breathe out. What did your mom always tell you when you were so very young? _I stepped inside the shower, closed my eyes and remembered what my beloved mother told me long ago after one of her sphere hunter friend's son had teased me and said I had hair like a Chocobo, making me burst into tears. (Yes, that's a silly thing to cry over, but I was four years old.)

_Paine? Why are you crying?_

_M-Mama, he said I had hair like a Chocobo!_

_That's nothing to cry over. Did you confront him or talk back to him?_

_I'm afraid to!_

_Well, don't be! If you're afraid of anything, then you won't be getting anywhere in life! Here's what I want you to do: go up to that boy, straight in his face, and look your fear in the eye. I know you can take it. _

_But I really don't want to, mama. He's big and fat, and I'm all…small! _

_Well, does it matter what size you are? Just think, if you can take him on, you can take on anyone. Your biggest fears. _

"WHOEVER'S IN THE BATHROOM NEEDS TO HURRY THE HECK UP!"

My eyes snapped open as someone pounded and kicked the bathroom door. "Uh…hold on! I just got in the shower!" There was a groan on the other side of the door, and someone slid down to the floor, sighing. I soaped myself quickly, rinsed, dried myself, and put on my clothes, not bothering to mess with my hair. So it fell just above my right eye. The door opened and I nearly stepped on Rikku, who was on the floor in her pajamas, (A night cap and a long, white faded nightgown that made her look incredibly adorable) holding a teddy bear and biting her lip. My face heated up as our eyes met. _Look your fear in the eye. _My biggest fear at that moment was to hold an eye lock with Rikku…but I doubted I could do it. I averted my eyes to her tiny feet. She stumbled to stand up, and just before the door slid closed, Rikku grinned at me and gave me a look. "We still up for a breakfast?" It asked.

I swallowed spit and gave her thumbs up.

OoO

It was still very early in the morning, so no one had prepared any breakfast or coffee. I did all of this within a span of thirty minutes, and whisked it all away to the deck. Little by little. Little by little, the clock ticked away. Little by little, time was creeping to the point where I would be sharing a private breakfast with Rikku. RIKKU. She of beautiful blonde, aureate hair, she of swirling green eyes, she who had most likely never dated a woman, she who probably will never date a woman. There I went, worrying again.

When everything was set up on the deck, I actually had something to worry about. I was thinking, _how the hell could I be so stupid_? How was everything going to keep still when we were on top of a damn airship. The coffee spilled slightly out of the cups I had poured it into, and the toast bounced every once in awhile. Oh damn. I rushed down to the bridge, set the autopilot settings to hella slow, (Seriously, that's what Buddy listed it as) and rushed back to the elevator. As I was settling down on top of the deck, I looked down at my outfit and slapped my head. I was wearing my regular outfit, which was faded and had a gigantic hole directly on my right knee. (I really need a new look) So I pulled out my dresspheres, hoping to find anything…and the only sphere I had with me was the Lady Luck dressphere.

I swallowed more spit.

I didn't have time to contemplate on whether or not I should wear the hideous outfit, so I quickly used the sphere and sat back down, being careful not to sit on the dress. I flipped my hair back, but realized that looked worse then what it already was, so I pushed it back and picked up my coffee. As I took my first sip, Rikku appeared. I choked on the coffee and started hacking as she walked in nearly slow motion toward me. Damn, she was so beautiful. So beautiful…so…damn…sexy. My mouth hung open stupidly as I stared at her. Flowing hair, openly, no shoes, just a normal white dress…but it was so gorgeous. I closed my mouth and wiped the drool off of the side of my mouth.

She sat down and grinned at me. "Wow, Paine! You're wearin' a dress! It's smokin'!" I blushed and set down my coffee.

Rikku stuffed a toast into her mouth and swallowed after three chews. "I'm really happy that ya wanted to have breakfast with me – ya know, it gives me the opportunity to get to know ya better. And that's what I want more then anything right now, to get to know the real Paine." She looked at her coffee cup with little interest and instead picked up her juice and downed it. "So, reveal me to…the true Painey!"

"What do you mean, the true Paine? You know the true Paine." I scratched my head and shifted uncomfortably. "She's sitting right in front of you."

She giggled. "For the first time! I've never seen you put on a dress just 'cause ya want to! Maybe the real Paine hasn't come out yet, ya know, and she is just like…hidin'. She's too afraid to come out 'cause maybe she's too embarrassed or somethin' like that. But I dunno. I'm just guessin'. Wow, you cook better than Barkeep." And she stuffed her mouth with half her plate.

"Well, I've never really gotten in touch with that Paine, when I truly think about it. She's always been…hidden. You're absolutely right."

"That's good, 'cause I was hopin' there was a little more personality and you weren't just another cute face who kicks serious booty everywhere she goes."

My cheeks turned a fierce red and I downed my entire coffee. Oh, it burned my throat. "You think…I'm cute?" Rikku nodded and licked her lips. "You sure can cook, Paine. I'm one happy customer." She patted her stomach and lay down, closing her eyes. "Now, tell me 'bout yourself."

I gulped. What was I supposed to say? I had honestly never opened up to anyone, not even to Baralai, Nooj, or Gippal. I had kept Paine to Paine and no one else. So this was going to be one gigantic leap for me. "Well…uh…I love fighting. My best friend is my sword. I also love to drink-"

Rikku shook her index finger. "Let me rephrase this. Uh…lesse…well, when and who was your last boyfriend?"

_Shit_.

"Well, you see…I've…how do I say this…I've never had a boyfriend. Everytime a boy asked me out, I would refuse. I've been on one date with a man my entire life, and I didn't even want to go on this date. It was actually payback towards me, and that was the only time." Rikku opened her eyes and stared at me with surprise in her face. Worry thumped in my chest. Would she think I was a loser?

"You're a lesbian, aren't you?"

She made me blush once again. I had been hoping that we would never get to this point, that she would never ask me this question. In fact, I had been hoping Rikku would never find out about my sexuality. Nobody knew this except my former girlfriends…

"Aren't ya?" She sat up and continued to stare directly at me. I saw no disgust or horror in her face, just curiosity.

"Y-Yes."

I awaited an answer. ANYTHING. But Rikku said absolutely nothing, she just looked up into the sky, and then, out of nowhere, she belched. Loud, clearly, and resembling a man. It would make the boys in our crew proud if they had heard that one. "Oopsie. Sorry 'bout that. But anyway, yep. That's cool. So, when and who was your last _girlfriend_?"

This was the discussion straight out of hell.

"Uh…let's see…well, she wasn't really my girlfriend, she was more like…you know, a friend…a friend with benefits. We were 'f.w.b.' (I did the finger quotes) a little while after we beat Vegnagun. I don't really remember her name, because her name wasn't important. I honestly was after her to get some ass. She had a very nice one, in fact." I mentally sighed as I said that. There went my hormones talking for me. Note to self: never let hormones take charge of your conversations with Rikku. Buddy? Yay. Rikku? Nay.

Rikku looked at me in awe. "Wow. I'd a never guessed _you _were into girls. So what is it like?"

I cleared my throat, nervous. "Well, I have nothing to compare it to, seeing as how I've only been with a select few men and that was quite awhile ago. But being with a woman makes me feel…feel good. Not orgasm good, but, just…complete. When a woman smiles because of me, my chest heats up and I have the urge to grin a full-toothed grin, which is unlike my personality."

Rikku nodded. "But really, er, what's _it _like?"

I stared at her in confusion.

"Aw, come on, do I gotta say it?"

"What the hell are you talking about, Rikku? I don't know what _it_ is…_oh_. What is it like when…er…why exactly is it we are talking about this?" My cheeks and neck began to get hot. Why did teenage women have to be so very horny? Rikku just winked at me and waited. I had no way out of this…well…maybe I could jump off the ship…

"Alright, sex with a woman goes something like this…when you first go down it's like…"

OoO

Rikku sat back down and her eyes returned to normal size. "WOW," she said. All she could say was "wow" after I had just spent who knows how many minutes explaining what it was like to have sexual times with a woman. I waved my hand in front of her and she snapped back down to Spira.

"THAT'S FREAKIN' AWESOME!"

She jumped up and started hopping around, dancing. "That's so cool…that sounds so much better then having sex with a guy! Man, I should turn lesbian right now, and then go pick me up some girls, that would be friggin' awesome!" I raised my eyebrow. This was very unlike Rikku…

"But how could you actually make someone do somethin' like that? That was friggin'…blech!" Rikku stuck a finger down her mouth to motion, 'that is friggin' disgusting but I'd like to try it anyway'.

I held back a smile and began to pick up our debris we left over from the breakfast (And very vivid conversation we just finished having; it had included examples using hands) but Rikku grabbed my wrist and let her lower lip quiver. "Please tell me how you did it?" She sniffled and I gently set down the plates I had just begun to pick up. I smiled and made Rikku sit down.

"I sang."

Rikku gave me a funny look. "That's it? You just sang to them? What did you sing, somethin' really slow…or…somethin'-" I put my hand up to stop her. "Would you like an example?"

She nodded. Gulp.

And so I kneeled down on one knee in front of Rikku, covering my face with my hands. This was what I always did my girlfriends, and as stupid as it was, it always was mistaken as romantic, so I got what I wanted, no matter the lyrics. Rikku was going to hate it, but oh well. I imagined the song beginning to play, and when the time came when the words would start, I began to sing. Very emotionally.

_I want to get away, 'cause you know like I know_

_And there's a better day, a coming, I'm hooked on your loving_

_Believe me, and when you hold my body_

_I know you need me, wait for me baby_

_I've been going half crazy for your love_

_And I was told the the sex…better than drugs_

_Then get addicted, girl listen_

_I'm the only piece of the puzzle you're missing _

_Like when we're kissing… bye, bye, bye_

_You got a girl that'll ride, ride, ride_

_So take me, tonight_

_And do what you do to me baby_

In that performance I included throwing my head back, grasping Rikku by the shoulders, singing into her ear (seductively, I might add) and other various things an overexcited performer what do. When I finished singing "baby" (Actually, it was more like 'bay-bay') I fell onto one knee and held out each arm at full length, panting. I looked at Rikku expectantly, waiting to see her burst out laughing or roll her eyes or do _something_. But instead she got up and squealed.

"That was _GREAT_!"

And she smiled at me and winked.

My cheeks flamed up again. But it was worth it.

Heh.

OoO

Yep, this rather short chapter was named after Ja Rule's song "Mesmerize". Give me some feedback and this chapter is dedicated to EVERY SINGLE REVIEWER who begged me to wake my lazy ass up and stop focusing on school and social things for a coupla hours and write you all a chapter! (No matter how disappointing it is) REVIEW!


	10. Chapter Nine: Touched a Dream

**Chapter Nine: Touched a Dream**

Okay then…am I reactin' way too fast to what's been happenin' to me and Paine lately? After that breakfast…I can't _STOP _thinkin' about her! I'm goin' mad…and I should really be thinkin' about Yunie, and solving all her problems, but nope, my mind is on Paine. I mean, what with her weird (But funny) sense o' humor, her pepper colored hair…her great singing voice…she sings better then Yunie, I hate to admit…

…and she's so…

…_cute_.

OoO

I ran up to the stairs as Yunie walked into the bridge, her eyes red and puffy. She looked horrible. And I almost _never _say Yunie looks horrible, but 'cause usually she looks happy; she looks great. But at that moment she was in the worse state I had _ever _seen her in. Her hair was friggin' tangled on all the ends, she was wearing gray clothes that were torn and wrinkled, and her face had tear streaks on it. And I already told you about her eyes. She looked like I did the day after _Spira Idol _went off the air.

Okay, gots to be serious. She was in bad shape. So I of course had ta help her.

As Yunie ascended the stairs I caught up with her and put my arm around her shoulders, but I don't think she noticed. I _humphed _to myself and whispered in her ear. "Want me ta get you somethin', Yunie?" She shook her head and gently took my arm off of her, and then Yunie smiled – or tried to – at me and sat next to Shinra, who shook his head sadly.

I really wished that Yunie wouldn't be so worried about being pregnant. I actually had _no _idea why she was so…sad about it. And _that_ was what I had to find out.

Time for Detective Rikku to come into action.

I signaled for Brother, Buddy (That _ruulrea_ – oops, that's mean. Oh well.) and Shinra to leave by coughing as loud as I possibly could. I could've hacked outta hairball if I was a cat, it was so nasty and obnoxious. The three of them left the bridge grumbling about "whatever happened to being feminine" and "_uhla y bek, ymfyoc y bek_" and ya definitely couldn't forget "I'm just a kid, I can still do that…"

Yunie looked at me with curiosity. "Why did they leave?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Prolly went ta shower. They stink."

Yunie sniffed the after smells of the three of 'em. "They don't offend me…"

I laughed nervously and took Shinra's seat. "That doesn't matter. Maybe you're immune to funk. But anyway, can we have a cousin-ta-cousin talk? I think we're in need o' one right about now." I paused and thought quickly. "We'll only have one if you want ta, of course. It's entirely up to you." Yunie nodded and stared blankly at me, awaitin' for me to start talkin'. But how could I just tell her that it was a little silly to cry this much about being pregnant? She answered all my questions when she opened her mouth next, though. Detective Rikku didn't even have to talk. (Ah well. Saved me time.)

"You're probably wondering why I have been crying so much," She sighed. "I'll tell you, but you can't tell anyone else…except Paine. You see, I'm pregnant, and under other circumstances, I would be extremely happy about this. And I am happy, a bit. But Tidus specifically said that he did _not _want children. Not for a long time. Five years, I think. He already became slightly angry and annoyed when I told him I wanted kids as soon as possible…I don't want to imagine how he would react if he found out I was pregnant. We both know getting rid of it is out of the question…so…I'm lost." Yunie glanced at me, but looked down; as if she were ashamed that she was gonna bring a life in this world. I stood up and frowned.

"Well, he'll just hafta accept it. He's ta blame for makin' you pregnant, so if he causes it, he deals with it." I was _mad_. I usually thought Tidus was a generally good-natured guy, if not a little immature and dumb. (Like me, but more) "If he doesn't accept it, I'll _make _him accept it." I punched my fist and grinned at Yunie, who giggled a little. She knew I was jokin' on that last part – kinda. But she didn't need ta know 'bout _that_.

For a moment there Yunie didn't say anything, but then she jumped into my arms and squeezed me _tight_. (Darn those friggin' ginormous muscles she has. Darn them.) "Thanks, Rikku…I think I overreacted. I shouldn't have ran away…but I want to stay here for a few more days, if that's alright with you."

I grinned and hugged her back. "Of course it is."

OoO

So I spent the next four days hanging out with Yunie, discussin' things she would say to Tidus. I almost completely forgot about Paine, but she was still in the back of my mind. We talked maybe once (To tell her about what Yunie told me to tell her; over those four days, which set back my plan to loosen up Paine by five notches. Poopie. But I would get back on track, I promised myself.

The moment we dropped Yunie off at Besaid Island (She nearly fainted, but I splashed her with water) night had already fallen, so I was friggin' exhausted. I fell to my bed with all my thief clothes still on. I was that tired. But before I fell asleep, I couldn't help but think about getting back ta Paine…

OoO

"What the heck?"

I woke up on a floor and found myself in this weird room. I mean, it was _really _friggin' weird. There was purple _everywhere_. And there was a fire going on in this fireplace I had never seen before in my life, and that was the only light provider in the room. Trust me, I looked everywhere. And then I screamed. But not 'cause I couldn't find a light button.

It was 'cause there was this huge, gigantic bed that had these _gorgeous _drapes on 'em, dark purple, matchin' the carpet and everything else in the room. My mouth dropped open and I ran to stroke the soft drapes. The blankets on the bed were super soft too. I jumped onto the bed head first and breathed in the scent. Yum. It smelled like a perfume…one I had smelled before…it smelled really familiar…

And just before I was about to fall asleep on that silky-soft bed, the room's door swung open. I sat up real quick and squinted my eyes, tryin' ta see who the heck it was, but they were wearing a hood on their head and I couldn't see _anything_. "Who the heck are you?" I backed up into the pillows, and the person chuckled. I gasped. It was Paine.

She approached the bed and sat on the bedside, next to me. Then Paine took off the hood, revealin' her face, which was illuminated by the fire. Geez, it was so…_wow_. That's all I can say about it. WOW. She smiled at me and took off the black jacket she was wearin', throwin' it to the floor with a flourish. And underneath that…she was wearin' what I would call a "drop top".

I sucked in my breath.

"Uh…Paine…?" She was startin' ta get closer ta me and it was scarin' me (But interesting me too…) a lot. Paine stopped when she was about two inches from my face. I couldn't move. (My mind was screamin' "MOVE! MOVE!" but I was frozen) The smile that was on her face grew wider…and…seductive?

"What's wrong?" Paine didn't withdraw from me, she just waited me for me to respond. I cleared my throat once, loud and obnoxious, like when I had coughed in the bridge. It didn't faze Paine. (Eep.) I cleared my throat again and backed up away from her. "This is just…_weird_." Knowing Paine, I expected her to roll her eyes, or sigh, but instead, she…LAUGHED! I raised an eyebrow and backed away even farther, so far I fell off the bed. Which made her laugh harder.

Paine got up and picked me up off the floor, placing me softly onto the bed. (I was still cowerin', holdin' a pillow so tight I was surprised it didn't rip) Then she sat across from me and put her hand on my knee. "You have very smooth skin," she whispered. "Is your entire body this soft?"

My cheeks flamed up and I shook my head hard.

Just when I thought this situation couldn't get any weirder, Paine removed the pillow from my clutches and threw it on the floor. Then she – eep – moved closer to me so our faces were only inches apart again. "…P-Paine…?" But that poop-head didn't give me an answer…she only kissed me.

See, if I hadn't known any better, and if I was feelin' like I wanted to get it on, then I would've continued ta kiss Paine, 'cause she was _really _good. Nice and slow, gentle…etc, etc. But I pushed Paine off me and looked at her with big eyes. "What the _HECK_, Paine! Why did you kiss me?"

Paine made a circle pattern on my shoulder with her index finger. "I don't know. Because you're a cute, little jazzy thing that is attracted to me."

My mouth made an 'O' shape. "WHAT? I'm…not…I'm…NO! I'm not attracted to you, Paine! You've got it all wrong. You're mistakin' me with Buddy, but nope, that's not me, sorry. I-I…don't like you like that…"

She laughed lightly. "You just don't want to admit it yet. But trust me; I know when a body's calling me. Your mind is telling you no, but your body is telling you _YES_." I blushed once more, deeper this time. Paine was bein' really…bold. Not like Paine at all. Was she right? I didn't have time ta think about it, 'cause Paine kissed me, harder than last time. With…tongue. Poopie. And I LET HER! And for a moment there, I let her, 'cause it was so…nice. We just sat there for awhile, kissing and everything.

While I was swappin' spit with Paine, I was thinking, _WHAT THE HECK! YOU'RE KISSING PAINE! PAINE! PAINE, THE MEAN ONE! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BEING THIS! IT'S WRONG! _And my mind kept yellin' at me, sayin' things that I would never say. It didn't matter to me, though. I was enjoying the whole thing WAY too much.

Finally, I had ta take a breather, so I separated from her and took a deep breath. Paine just smiled. "So, you admit that you are attracted to me?" I nodded. "Good. Then it's time for you to wake up."

"What?" I looked at her, confused. What the heck was she talking about?

"I said, wake up."

My eyes flashed open.

I was dreaming.

Oh. Poopie.

OoO

The moment I woke up I ran to the bathroom and splashed my face with ice cold water several times before I screamed at my reflection in the mirror. What the heck was I doing, dreaming about kissing _Paine_? I hoped, no, I PRAYED that the dream didn't mean anything. If it did, then I was dead. DEAD meat.

I started to head back to my bed but then decided not to. I wanted ta check up on Paine, who was probably still sleepin'. It was still pretty dark outside, meaning it was only maybe four or five o'clock in the morning. So I tiptoed over to the private room Paine slept in sometimes. I tapped in the code that she thought no one knew (But everyone knew it; Shinra used a Commsphere to find it out) and then tiptoed into the room. It was pitch black dark.

There was a lump in the bed. _Great! _I thought. The last thing I needed was Paine waking up and accidentally stabbing me with that sword she has sittin' by her bedside.

_What am I doing here? _My mind asked. _You have no reason to be here._

_Yes, I do. _I told my mind.

_You just wanted to see Paine. That means that you _do _like her. Isn't that the last thing you want, is to have a crush on one of the people you live with? Besides, the plan was to get Paine to loosen up, not for you to fall head-over-heels with her. Just because she is a lesbian doesn't mean anythin'. She will probably be disgusted you like her._

I sighed. Why was my mind always bothering me? My self-conscience was always on constant alert, and that got annoying.

I musta sighed really loud, 'cause the lump in the bed shifted, and I could make out Paine's face's outline in the dark. Gulp. Wakin' her up was a big NO.

So I quietly walked outta the room, but not before takin' one last look at the lump that was Paine, and then I walked away with the new realization that I had a crush on, of all people, Paine.

Sigh.

OoO

Well? What did you think? Was it way too short for your likings? Did Yuna depart too quickly? Don't worry, she'll be coming back in other chapters. I'm just glad that I got this out of me. I would have gone into more detail with the whole dream scene, but I don't see Rikku as one describing a great kiss. But that's just me. Review and complain to me that the chapters need to be longer! I wrote this chapter inspired by R. Kelly's slow jams, you can blame it all on that. The chapter is named after, of course, "Touched a Dream" by R. Kelly.


	11. Chapter Ten: You Remind Me of Something

**Chapter Ten: "You Remind Me of Something"**

I woke up this morning with a strange feeling in my gut. Like someone up there decided to make things go my way. I don't know why, but I felt like something big was going to happen today. Perhaps today something would happen that would alter my life, maybe dramatically, maybe just slightly.

And then I hopped out of bed and tripped on my boots, making me fall face-first onto the ground. I broke my nose.

OoO

"…So I was thinkin' that you and I could, ya know, stop by Besaid Island and check up on Yunie. But that's only if you're up to it, and if your nose stopped hurtin' by now. What you wanna do?" Rikku placed an ice bag on my bedside as I touched the gauze pad covering my nose. It was still throbbing something ferocious, but in no way would that stop me from seeing Yuna. I was still worried about her, and I was quite curious to see what Tidus would say to her. My sword and I most likely had a date with Tidus' long locks of hair…heh.

I grabbed the ice bag and pressed it against my nose. "I'm ready to go whenever you are." Rikku yelped and hugged me tight. "Okay, okay. I get the point. Just leave my nose and I to some time alone with this ice pack…get your ass dressed in the meantime. You're still wearing your pajamas, for Yevon's sake." I tenderly pushed Rikku off of me and pointed her to the door. She gave me a thumbs-up and skipped off, but not before tripping on the same pair of boots that I had tripped on earlier. She fell in the same position as I had, except not on her face. For a moment I had a perfect view up her dress…

…Hey, I couldn't complain.

OoO

After being dropped off on the island, Rikku and I started to head towards the village. It would have been a perfectly silent and peaceful walk had Rikku not kept nervously cracking her knuckles and clearing her throat like she was a cat hacking up a hairball. I resisted a strong urge to yell at Rikku, because it was still quite early in the morning and no doubt most of the village would still be sleeping. A vein popped out of my forehead as we approached Yuna's house. (And Rikku hacked and cracked at the same time)

"Oh poopie, we're here," Rikku stopped in front of the house and hid behind me. "I don't even know why I'm so nervous, Painey!" _Crack_. "Maybe it's just the fact that I don't want Yunie hurt anymore than she already is…or maybe I'm just overreactin'! Whatever it is, it's makin' me feel ready to hurl." She shrunk until her face was buried into my back. I could feel her shake.

Turning around, I gripped Rikku tightly by the shoulders. "Look," I stated firmly, hard enough for her to know I was being serious. "You are _not _overreacting. You are just concerned for your cousin; your blood. I feel worried too. But I know if the outcome is bad, Tidus and his hair will have to deal with my sword. I've got this covered, Rikku." She trembled but nodded yes, managing to smile. I returned the smile and hugged her – but not before wiping the tears out of her eyes.

(Anyway to touch her…)

We separated and I approached the door; I already knew that Rikku was too scared to do it. I wiped the sweat off my brow and entered the house (I never understood why there were no doors in these villagers' houses. Perhaps they weren't like me…I usually draw my sword at any sound in the night, even if it's a cat) silently and carefully. The last time I had seen Yuna she was fragile – any sudden movement that I made would no doubt disturb her in the last peaceful slumber she had. I didn't want to risk breaking her again. (Damn…I am a _poet_) However, I was greeted with the sight of Yuna and Tidus sleeping peacefully, arms intertwined with each other's bodies. Yuna was smiling in that way that only Tidus can make her smile. It was a beautiful picture, except for the fact that Tidus was _quite _naked…and that blanket wasn't covering as much as I would hope it would…

I _would _have been able to sneak out of there and leave the two lovebirds to themselves had Rikku not burst into the house at that moment. I was busy tip-toeing my way out of there, and here comes Rikku with tears streaming down her face and a board with a nail in it in her hands. (What the hell…?) She was screaming like a hell bent maniac you only see in the movie spheres. Sheesh.

"W-What? R-Rikku! What…!" Yuna woke up in a flash and I felt sorry for the poor girl; I mean, she wakes up to her cousin with a wooden board in her hands and looking like she's on a drug-induced murder rampage. Not only that, but that exact same cousin charges towards your bed where your lover and you are clutching each other in fear…

But just before Rikku could crack that board in half on Tidus' head, I grabbed Rikku by the waist and dragged her out of the house. I mouthed the words "I'll explain later" to Yuna and clamped my hand over Rikku's never-closing mouth. I dragged her all the way to the first waterfall you come up to on the walk to the beach, and by that time Rikku was completely calm. I dropped her on the ground and leaned against the rock wall. Rikku bit her finger and gave me a look of innocence.

"Everything was fine, wasn't it?"

I nodded my head disgustedly.

"Oopsie."

I smashed my head against the wall. So damn stupid, but so damn cute.

OoO

Rikku and I gave Yuna and Tidus another thirty minutes or so before we returned back there. I was afraid that the two of them would be in shock still from seeing a raging doll come to life. When Rikku and I _did _arrive inside the house again, a white-faced Tidus was absentmindedly pouring honey in his tea cup (It was overflowing) while Yuna was rushing to make breakfast. When Rikku placed her feet in the house, Tidus screamed and spilled his tea all over himself, making him scream loudly in a high pitched voice. Yuna gasped and rushed to his side. While tending to Tidus, she smiled gaily at us. "Oh! Hi Paine! Rikku! I'm glad to see you two…again…this morning! I was about to call you two through the Commsphere anyway!" Wow. She seemed cheery compared to the day before.

I scratched my head. "So," Rikku pursed her lips. "Everything is okay with you, Yunie?" Did I hear poison in that tiny voice?

Yuna got up to make another tea for the sobbing Tidus. "Of course everything is okay! I haven't been this happy since the day hon' came back to me." Rikku and I exchanged a look of confusion. Yuna noticed and grinned happily. "I'm serious, you two. Can you guys wait outside for me? Let me just finish making this tea…and I'll be right out." I nodded and started to head out. Rikku, however, was glaring at Tidus like she was about to murder him right then and there. I rolled my eyes and dragged her out by the back of her skirt.

A moment later Yuna walked outside. Her cheeks were flushed, but in a happy sort of way. That flush remained as Rikku and I bombarded her with questions.

"So did it work out?" (Nod.)

"Did you two talk?" (Nod.)

"What did you two talk about?" (Happy grin.)

"So it all went well!" (Wider grin.)

"Did you two have makeup sex?" (Widest grin yet.)

"RIKKU!"

Yuna put up her hands. "Listen, calm down! Everything went _wonderful_. I told him that I was pregnant, and though he might not like it, he's the one that caused it and that he would just have to deal with it. Then Tidus just became quite silent, but then he looked me in the eyes with tears streaming down his cheeks, and he said, 'You're right, baby. I have to clean up the damage that I made.' We kissed and it was _oh _so perfect…and we did have makeup…you know…and I am just SO HAPPY! I wanted to thank you two as soon as I woke up, and well…here you go! Thanks. BUT – I would like to know if you two would like to double date with Tidus and I tonight. We're going to treat you two in Luca!"

My mouth fell open.

That didn't stop Yuna from continuing talking. "Both of you should bring a date. Or you could go together, whatever you want. But make sure you two – especially you, Paine – wear something very classy and dressy. This is a special night."

Rikku squealed with happiness and attached herself to my right arm. "Did you hear that, Painey?" She bounced a few times. "We're going OUT tonight!" As if I hadn't heard the first time. Sheesh. Already I wanted this day to end. Paine plus dates plus Rikku in sexy slinky dress equals pain and embarrassment.

Rikku unhooked herself from my arm and instead latched onto Yuna. The two squealed like maniacs and began to discuss what they were going to wear, what perfume to put on, how to fix their hair, etcetera, etcetera. They left me standing there in a stupefied gaze. While they walked inside the house, I swear I heard Yuna say, "Did Paine trip over her boots again?"

OoO

I was bored and alone with nothing to do for at least two hours. When Rikku and Yuna got together, they could talk and talk and _talk _without ever stopping. In fact, the only way they would _stop _talking would be if someone were to drag one of them out of the conversation. But I decided to be nice and give them some "cousin time" before I would call Buddy up and drag Rikku's ass all the way back to the ship. So I had some time to kill. I walked all the way to the beach and slipped off my boots, (The same ones I broke my nose over) sitting at the shore while dipping my toes in the salty water. _Aah_. My eyes closed and I began to drift off…I almost did too, until I heard someone sing. It was distant, and I did not recognize the voice. Her voice was deeper than Yuna's, but softer than mine. I opened my eyes and looked around. There was not a soul in sight – the singing continued.

"_Sunshine, blue sky, please go away,_

_My girl has found another, and gone away_

_With her went my future, my life is filled with gloom_

_So day after day, I stay locked up in my room_

_I know to you it might sound strange_

_I wish it would rain…oh how I wish it would rain_

_Oh yeah, yeah, yeah…_"

By this time I was completely mesmerized by the melodic singing. I pulled on my boots (With sand all over my feet – woo, I would regret that later) and looked all over the beach. Still I saw no one. The singing continued and I followed the voice. It led me to look up onto the hill right next to me.

Sitting there was a _beautiful _girl. She was _amazing_. Her skin was the color of caramel, her hair was golden, and her eyes were black as night. I forgot how to breathe for a moment, that girl was so…damn. She was just sitting there, legs crossed (Sophisticated) and twirling a strand of her long hair while singing to herself. Did she notice me? Obviously not, because she did not even glance at me, though I strongly wished she would. I cleared my throat, which caught her attention. She stopped singing and looked at me, startled.

"You…uh…sing amazing." I felt my cheeks get hot.

The goddess (Hey, I'm not exaggerating!) smiled; she had a mouthful of white teeth. And some fillings, but that was beside the point. Her smile was _great_. "Thank you. Everyone says that I could be the next Yuna if I really wanted to." I nodded. (Was drool falling out of my mouth? I checked – nothing. Good.) "I suppose I could, but I think that I'm not even nearly as good as Yuna. She's the best I've ever heard."

I _strongly _disagreed. "That's not true!" Her smile faded. Uh-oh. "I mean, she's a wonderful singer, that's _very _true, but I honestly think that you have a better voice. Maybe it's just the fact that I've been hearing Yuna sing everyday since I've known her, and it's gotten slightly tiring…but whatever the reason, I believe you have the best singing voice I have ever heard."

She giggled and jumped off the hill. "Thank you. What's your name, stranger?"

I thought a moment. What was my name again? "P-Paine. What's yours?"

She was standing next to me now. My heart beat a little faster than before. "My name is _Mujan_. I'm half Al-Bhed, so that explains the name and the accent I have." Her name was lover? That was interesting, and I was curious to see if her name really fit her. "It's very nice to meet you, Paine. You said you know _the _Yuna? That is so amazing! I've been trying to meet her for the longest time, but I've never been able to win a backstage pass in one of her concerts. It's quite disappointing."

An idea flashed in my mind. "Did you know Yuna lives here on this island?"

Mujan nodded. "I sure did. But I've never been on this island before, and I just sailed in from Luca to here…so I'm really lost." She scratched her head.

I sucked in my breath and grinned. "Let me take you to meet her then! One of my shipmates – she's Yuna's cousin – and I just stopped by here to check up on Yuna. Why don't you come with me back to the village, and I could introduce you to Yuna? If you wouldn't mind, of course. I think it's entirely up to you-" Before I could say more, Mujan screamed "YES!" and grabbed me by the hand, pulling me towards the exit of the beach. "Okay, let's go then!"

But before we could step foot out of the beach, Rikku appeared up the path. "Paine! I've been lookin' for you! I can't decide…should we wear matching outfits to this date or what – wait…who's that?" She raised an eyebrow and frowned at Mujan. "Is this your girlfriend?" Rikku's frown deepened or at least that was what I imagined. I shook my head and introduced the two of them, letting go of Mujan's hand. (Damn.)

"Mujan, this is Rikku, Yuna's cousin. Rikku, this is Mujan, a half Al-Bhed whom I just met a couple of minutes ago." Mujan smiled happily and extended her hand out to Rikku, who took it and shook it for about one second before releasing it and turning her attention to me. (What the hell was that all about?)

"So anyway Paine, do you think we should wear matching outfits, or what? I think we should, because I just bought this outfit that was WAY too big for my skinnyness…so you could wear that! I have this dress that would go _perfect _with it…you would look so cool in this outfit too! It's black, so you wouldn't have to worry about being colorful at all! So what do ya think, Painey? Should we, or shouldn't we?"

I nodded. "Sure, whatever you want. Ready, Mujan?"

She winked at me. "Let's go!"

We walked off, leaving a very surprised Rikku behind.

OoO

"Oh no! Paine fell for another girl! NO!" Is that what you're thinking? Don't worry, Paine is still mad about Rikku. But what will Rikku do about Mujan? (Sorry for inserting an original character…I promise she won't take away any of the limelight from Rikku.) Sorry for the five months since the last update – I know that it sucks to wait that long. But I hope it was worth it this time!

I also would like to thank the author "fakey" for putting TWO of my stories in the C2 'Five Star Final Fantasy'. That was an honor. Very much so. I would also ask that you, the reader, leave a review! I'm hoping that I will one day get 200 reviews for this. THANKS FOR READING! Also, this chapter was R. Kelly's "You Remind Me of Something". Because Mujan reminds Paine of her bank account, she wants to spend it…


	12. Chapter Eleven: She Don't

**Chapter Eleven: "She Don't"**

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! I am so friggin' ANGRY! Who is this 'Mujan' character! Whoever she is, I DON'T LIKE HER! ONE BIT! I mean, that's poopie, who names their kid 'lover' anyway? Obviously her parents were hippies! EW! And the clothes she was wearin', man, not even someone as tacky as WAKKA would wear 'em! Her clothes were so raggedy they looked like they were salvaged from the Sin attacks! I AM GONNA KILL SOMEONE I SWEAR!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

OoO

I stormed back ta Yunie's place, a frown burned into my face and my fists clenched so tightly they were basically stapled together. When I got back there I saw that Paine was already back with that trashy tree-hugging _ruulrea_ Mujan. (Shouldn't you have a license for bein' that ugly?) They were sitting down talking to Yunie and Tidus, laughin' like they were all old buddies. _Grrr_. To hold back from screamin' at the top of my lungs I bit down on my lip and clenched my fists even tighter. My gloves ripped. I was about to walk into the house, but I stopped myself and stood outside the doorway, listenin' to the good people and the _ruulrea _talk.

"It is _so _nice to finally meet you, Yuna! I just think you are the best singer ever…your voice is to _die _for! You can dance like a pro too! And to top all that talent off, you even saved Spira! You're so amazing!"

Yunie giggled like a little schoolgirl. (I thought ta myself, 'No Yunie! Don't let her stupidly rehearsed compliments get ta ya!') "You're very sweet! I'm guessing you're Paine's date for tonight's dinner then?"

Was it just me, or did Paine choke on something when Yunie said that?

"Um…yes I am!"

SHE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THERE WAS A DINNER GOIN' ON! My face turned bright red as my anger meter went off the charts. I walked inside and grinned widely. "Why _rammu_ everyone! I was wonderin' where ya all went!" I turned to face Mujan. (Ew. I couldn't look at her face! I wanted ta vomit wit' RAGE when I saw her face!) She was smiling innocently while sittin' _way _too close ta Paine. "I don't think that I properly introduced myself ta ya back there at the beach," I approached her and stuck out my hand. I noticed there was a gigantic tear in it. (Oopsie.) "I'm Rikku, Yunie's cousin, and a _very _close friend to Ms. Painey right here. And _you _are?" (Man, there was more poison in my voice then Brother's cookin')

Mujan flipped her nappy black hair back and firmly shook my hand. "I'm Mujan! I just met Paine a little while ago…I think she was trying to hit on me!"

My eye twitched.

She laughed and affectionately tugged on Painey's spike. (After knowin' her, what, 10 minutes? I was scared ta think how affectionate she would be afta an hour.) "I'm just playing. I was just singing and Paine must have overheard me, because the next thing I know she was complimenting me on my voice. Personally I don't think it compares to Yuna's, but Paine says it's at that level. She is a very sweet person! I personally cannot _wait _to go on this date with her!"

I just wanted ta smash a chocobo on her head!

While the two of them looked stupidly at each other, and Tidus just sat there lookin' uncomfortable, Yunie took this opportunity to ask me a question. "Who is your date tonight then, Rikku?" I froze up. Uh-oh. I had _never _went ta a dinner with Yunie without a date. And I couldn't say Mujan had stole my date, 'cause then I would give a bad impression ta Paine! (I would just bring the pain to Mujan when Paine wasn't lookin'!) "Do you not have a date?"

I had ta think fast, so I said the first name that popped into my mouth.

"Of course I have a date! I'm bringin' Gippal!"

The room went silent. I had broken off things with Gippal a _long _time ago. Everyone thought that I was tired of that poopie-head. (Which I was!) But it was too late for that, now I _had _ta go on a date with that loser.

DANG IT!

OoO

When we got back on the ship I knew I had ta call Gippal. I _really _didn't want to, 'cause once I asked him to go on a date with me, he wouldn't shut up or leave me alone. But I had got myself into the mess, so I was gonna hafta deal with it. Not that I wanted ta. So I went to the bridge and sat down at Shinra's computer and contacted the Commsphere in Gippal's room. I was prayin' on Auron's dead soul that Gippal wasn't there, but he was. With Baralai and Nooj.

_Sigh_…

Gippal looked into the commsphere and his face lit up so much it coulda blinded me. He licked his hand and slicked his hair back nervously. Ew! (And you wonder why I broke up with him!) I tried ta put on my best fake smile but I ended up looking like I was watchin' a really well made scary movie. Gippal coughed nervously and tried ta look nonchalant, but I could tell he was ready to faint. "Hello Rikku! Er…how have you been? Been doing anyone good lately?" My mouth dropped open. "I m-mean, been doing anything good lately?"

I sighed. "I've been doin' good, and how about ya?"

"I-I've been…uh…doing great! Ever since we broke up I've just been living my life! Not having a broken heart or crying every night, no sir, not me!"

"Oh that's good!"

"Yeah…"

"Anyway," I took a deep breath. "Ya know, Yunie invited me to dinner tonight, and I don't have someone ta go with me tonight, so I was wonderin' if you would like to come with me." I saw Gippal grin stupidly. "As _friends_." His grin dropped.

"Just…as friends?"

"Yeah, is that bad?"

"No. But you gave me false hope. I'll go though."

"Good! Pick me up at eight! And don't try ta hold my hand, 'cause you will get a 5-inch stiletto to your shin! See you tonight!"

I turned off the connection before Nooj and Baralai could start whooping. Poopie! Obviously I _really _liked Paine if I was goin' to put up with a poopie head like Gippal! Could it be that I'm…?

OoO

As the dinner came closer and closer, I took a shower (I'm so fresh, so clean). After wrappin' my hair in a towel and puttin' on my towel, I pulled out all my makeup. _Hm_. "Should I go for the sexy; every guy wants to take me home look? Nah. Paine doesn't go for that look." I pouted and looked at myself in the mirror. Suddenly, the vision came to me! In a flurry, I put on the _best _friggin' makeup in my collection (Which cost me a _lot _of Gil…almost all of Paine's stash) and when I was done I admired my work. Blue eye shadow, red lipstick, perfect blush…MMM! I was, ya know, PERFECT!

But then I realized I was stuck, 'cause I didn't have a dress to wear. All of my outfits were old and used one too many times; there was at least one hole in each of them. As I frantically searched through my closet, I felt panicked. What the heck was I supposed to do! Then it came across my mind…Yunie had left her slinky black dress in one of the storage rooms!

I hurried down to the storage rooms, trippin' on my bathrobe several times along the way. When I got there, the towel on my head had fallen off of my head and I knew that there was gonna be a buncha bruises all over my arms from fallin' so much. I thought that it was gonna be snatch-and-leave, but _no_, it wasn't because Brother was sitting on the ground with all of Yunie's belongings scattered across the floor. He was clutchin' the slinky black dress that I wanted like it was an expensive designer purse. (Hey, I would clutch one of those, anyway.) He noticed me and growled like a watch dog or somethin'. "_Tuh'd ajah DREHG ypuid ed. Ed'c seha, ymm SEHA_! _Huf kad yfyo pavuna E peda ouin rayt uvv_!"

UGH. I didn't have time to play stupid games with Brother! I approached him and he hissed. I ignored that and grabbed one of Yunie's boots off the ground. Before Brother realized what I was doin', I swung the boot across his face.

"_Cu DRYD'C fro fusah muja druca cruac cu silr…_"

Brother fell to the ground with his eye twitchin' and a huge red mark on his right cheek. I grinned and blew a kiss to Brother before I grabbed the dress out of his arms and tripped back to my room.

OoO

After I had put on the dress (No back, pure black, and tied at the neck to hold the dress up.) and tied my hair into a bun I walked over to Paine's room. Without botherin' to knock, I slammed open the door and strutted as sexily as possible over to Paine's bed. She was in the shower or somethin'. So I sat down and crossed my legs, admirin' how my legs looked with those stilettos. But I was so busy admirin' myself that I didn't realize that I was sittin' on the very edge of the bed. As soon as Paine walked out of the bathroom rubbing her broken nose, I fell off the bed in a heap. POOPIE!

"Rikku! Are you okay?" Paine rushed over to my side and picked me up, placin' me gently on the bed. (Ooh!) She grabbed an ice pack from the bathroom and put it on my forehead. The cold brought me outta the little daze that came over me when I fell off the bed. I blinked a few times to bring my eyes back into focus…and there was Paine, lookin' so…_wow_. Her hair was gelled or somethin', so it covered her right eye. She was wearin' a suit, but it wasn't baggy, it fit perfectly. She looked AMAZING. Even with a gauze pad over her nose!

"I-I'm fine now. Just a little messed up, ya know? But thanks for the ice pack anyway." Was it just me, or was there concern in those red eyes of hers? My heart melted just by seein' that.

"That's good. But anyway, why exactly are you in my room?"

"Uh…"

I blushed without meanin' to. Paine waited expectantly for an answer, getting off the bed and grabbing a glass of water off of her dresser. She took a _long _swig from it.

"Well, I did have a reason to come here, but I kinda forgot it when I saw how good you looked tonight."

Paine choked on her water and it spilled all over her face and shirt. She turned around with cheeks the color of an apple. "W-W-W-W-What did you just say? Did I hear correctly, or is my injury really getting to my head?" I had to resist grinnin' at how cute her reaction was. I hopped off of the bed and came up to Paine with a small smirk on my face. She turned even redder as I stopped a couple inches from her face.

"I said that you looked _really _good tonight!"

She gasped a bit. "Why…uh…thank you! You look amazing tonight too."

I giggled. "Thanks mucho, Painey." I inched a little bit closer to her until our lips were _this _close to touchin'. I had never done somethin' this brave, and it felt really great! "I mean, it's really great how good you look tonight…even with your broken nose! I wouldn't mind seein' this all up close and personal…"

Paine wiped sweat off of her brow. "This is really up close, and very personal, don't you think?"

My eyes were almost closed. "Not close enough."

I closed my eyes and I knew Paine closed her eyes too. We moved closer together, and I felt her torso press into mine (Oh my goodness) and our lips almost touched…

…until Brother burst into the room with Mujan, who smiled and ran into Paine's arms as we quickly separated from each other.

_POOPIE_!

OoO

After we picked up a sloppy lookin' Gippal from his place, (He didn't even comb his hair, and he was sweatin' so much you could pour it into buckets) Buddy dropped us all off at Luca. As we walked towards the restaurant, Gippal tried to make simple conversation, like I wanted to talk to him! Ew! I glared at Mujan and Paine the entire walk to _The Luca Emporium_. They were standin' so close together, and Mujan kept touchin' Paine like she was someone who actually had the right to touch her…like ME!

We got to the restaurant and saw Yunie and Tidus standin' at the front, holdin' hands and waiting for us. When Yunie spotted us she waved us over with a sweet smile on her face. Mujan and Paine raced over there, with Mujan grabbin' Paine's hand and dragging her over there. _GR_! Gippal tried to hold my hand too, but I just dug my nails into his hand and power-walked over Yunie alone.

"Hi guys! I'm glad that you all could make it tonight! You all look stunning!" We all laughed lightheartedly and walked inside. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL! Chandeliers, a dance floor, people wearin' suits and dresses, it was _so _gorgeous. Mujan gasped as Yunie and Tidus went to get our reserved table.

"Oh Paine, isn't this place just _wonderful_? So nice for a first date." Paine half smiled, like she didn't even know that this was considered a first date. I breathed a sigh of relief and elbowed Gippal as he tried ta put his arm around my shoulders.

After the waiter seated us at our table, we were handed our menus. And ya _know _that I am _always _hungry, but this was the first time in my lifetime that I was not up for eating. I stood the menu up in front of my face and eyed Mujan and Paine over the top of the menu. As everyone laughed about somethin' about Seymour's hair, I glared across the table. Now that I had the chance to look closely, I saw what a fake Mujan was! Her hair was _really _tangled, like she hadn't even bothered to comb it! EW! Even that poopie head Brother combed his little bit of hair! And her lipstick was slightly out of the lines of her lips…and…ONE OF HER FAKE EYELASHES WAS COMIN' OFF!

I just couldn't resist.

"I'm real sorry Yunie, but I hafta freshen up, ya know? I think Gippal ruined my makeup when he tried ta place a sloppy one on my lips." Gippal backed off of me as I stood up and Tidus snorted at my joke. "I'll be right back."

I quickly ran over to the only teenage waiter I saw in the place. "Hey big boy!" I grinned his way as his mouth dropped open when he saw me. "Come over here real quick!" He rushed over to the Women's Bathroom door I was standin' in front of. "Do you want to do me a _big _favor?" I winked and he nodded his acne covered face 'yes' dumbly. (He he…stupid hormones) "If you go accidentally knock into that girl over there - _see_? - I'll let you see my chest!"

His eyes grew wide as he rushed over to my table. I snickered and burst out laughin' obnoxiously when he bumped into Mujan's chair and even dropped a glass of tea on top of her head. Mujan shrieked while Tidus and Gippal both jumped out of the chair and pointed with their mouths in 'O' shapes. Tidus, bein' Tidus, yelled "Her eyelashes fell into the water!" loudly. The music stopped playin' and everyone looked at Mujan. I ran into the bathroom and almost died laughing.

I had ta compose myself quickly though, as Mujan burst into the bathroom with her makeup ruined and her black and white dress havin' a HUGE brown stain on the chest area. It was simply be-yoo-ti-ful. I put on a sincere face and gasped. "Oh my goodness Mujan, what happened?" She rushed over to the mirror and pulled out a wet wipe, and some eyeliner.

"Nothing, except an idiot waiter bumped into me and spilled tea _all _over my brand new dress. I wanted to impress Yuna with it. But I guess I really can't do that now that it's got this stain on it!" She huffed as she dabbed at the runnin' makeup. I grinned but put on a frown when she turned to face me. "I have never been more embarrassed in my life. I mean, having that happen in front of my _idol_…"

She woulda continued rantin' on if I hadn't stopped her. "Yes, I would be _really _embarrassed if my fake eyelashes came off in front of _my _idol."

Mujan stopped applyin' makeup. "OH MY YEVON! I FORGOT THAT MY FAKE EYELASHES FELL IN YUNA'S WATER!" She quickly applied the rest of her makeup and ran back out like she was runnin' a marathon. I had ta see this!

I quickly followed her, only to be stopped by that gross waiter. He had apparently been waitin' for me. "Can I see it now?" He stretched out his arm and I kicked him…uh…where the sun doesn't shine!

"Sicko!" I said as I ran back to the table.

I arrived at the table just in time to see Mujan tryin' ta fish her fake eyelashes out of Yunie's water. Paine had her face buried in her hands, Tidus was tryin' not to gag, Gippal _was _gaggin', and Yunie was tryin' to appear sympathetic and understandin', but instead looked like she wanted to crawl under the table. Mujan looked the worst. (YAY!) There was a long streak of makeup on her right cheek, and she was gritting her teeth as she failed at pickin' out the eyelashes over and over again. I sat down in my seat and chomped on one of the appetizers while watchin' the 'show'. I didn't know bein' evil could be this much _fun_!

Yunie's eyes grew big as the water started ta change colors from the eyelashes. "Um…Mujan…it's okay, we don't need to get the eyelashes out. Why don't you just sit down and we'll enjoy the rest of the night as if none of this never happened?"

Paine looked up with tears streamin' down her face. She had been…laughin'? Whoa! "Yes, let's do that!"

Mujan sat down in her chair. "I guess I can do that," she smiled softly. "_Dra ajahehk luimt hud buccepmo kad yho funca_."

Oh yes, there was a way.

I wasn't goin' ta lose _my_ Painey to Mujan without a fight.

OoO

Well, after nearly 5 months, I have finally updated the story. How was the chapter? So many of you anticipated what Rikku would do to Mujan, and as you can see, she is completely evil; reminiscent of anyone's evil ex-boyfriends or ex-girlfriends? Also, in case you do not know what the Al Bhed in this story means, go to Google and look up 'Al Bhed translator' and copy plus paste the Al Bhed text into the translator. That should solve the mystery of what it says. Anyway, sorry for making you all wait so long! Can I still ask you all to review? THANK YOU FOR YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT!

Also, this chapter was based off of the chorus of Letoya Luckett's song "She Don't".


	13. Chapter Twelve: Strangers in the Night

**Chapter Twelve: "Strangers in the Night"**

Removing Yuna's foot imprint from your face with expensive lotions: 200 gil.

Getting your broken nose fixed: 1,500 gil.

Dinner at the Luca Emporium: 3,000 gil. (What the hell?)

Seeing Mujan's fake eyelashes drop into Yuna's water: Priceless.

OoO

Once order had been restored – and Rikku had poured Yuna's contaminated water into Gippal's lap when he wasn't paying attention – we all ordered our meals and began to chat. It wasn't about anything particularly interesting, so I allowed my mind to wander off. _Huh,_ I thought to myself. _I didn't really realize it until now, but… I think I'm on a date with Mujan._

Well, damn.

It really _hadn't_ hit me that this was, technically speaking, my first date with Mujan. Everything had just flew past my head so quickly, from the moment we met to when she had her… er… _accident_ with Yuna, that I just didn't realize what was going on. I definitely wasn't complaining, because the girl was sexy as hell. But still, if it came down to it, she wasn't the one I wanted to be on a date with. If it came down to it, I would rather be on a date with a certain bubbly blonde…

"Isn't that _cute_, Paine?"

I snapped back to reality and realized Mujan was tugging on my sleeve, an overly excited expression on her face. _Oh Yevon. _I had absolutely _no_ idea what everyone was talking about, but I knew everyone was expecting an answer from me. I cleared my throat and grinned at Mujan. "Oh yeah, that's so cute it makes me want to vomit."

Rikku choked on her food. "WHAT?! How can ya think that's CUTE? Anyone who sits outside of my bedroom door for three hours singin' love songs to win me back is a little crazy, if ya ask me!" As Rikku said this, Gippal turned the color of the Gullwings airship.

Mujan nuzzled her face against my arm and giggled. "Well, I wouldn't mind if a guy did that to me. _Kuuthacc_, you should be flattered. Don't you agree, Yuna?" Mujan leaned in and batted her eyelashes at Yuna (Mental question for myself to answer later: What the hell?) and laughed. I looked around the table and saw several different expressions that were aimed towards myself and Mujan.

Yuna: A polite expression, if not somewhat confused.

Tidus: Interested, with a possible glint of what I was almost 99% sure was his "turned on" face. (Disgusting.)

Gippal: Was the only one not focused on us. Instead, he was busy looking like a Chocobo hit with several blitzballs and then put under a love spell; his eyes were solely on Rikku.

Rikku: …Whoa, I couldn't tell.

It was true. I had no idea what in Yevon's name was going on with Rikku. She was clenching the tablecloth in her right hand, and aimlessly – but violently – jabbing her fork into her food absentmindedly. She was staring with what _appeared _to be a ferocious fire in her eyes at Mujan; but when she and I made eye contact, her cheeks flushed a bright red and she dropped both the fork and tablecloth. She flashed a grin my way and placed her head in her hands, an interested and slightly malicious look arising on her face. "So," she squeaked out, "How'd ya two meet anyway? I never got ta hear the story, ya know."

I gulped.

…Well _this _was certainly not a way I would expect to win over Rikku; telling her how I met another girl? An _extremely_ attractive girl? Yevon be damned, I didn't know what to say. But luckily enough for me, Mujan launched into a full frontal explanation of our embarrassing first encounter, right down to the metaphorical erection that she gave me as she was singing on that hill. I tried my best to tune the entire conversation out, as well as avoid eye contact with the rest of the people at the table, particularly Rikku. I could practically _feel_ her resentment seeping through her body and towards where I was sitting. Whether that resentment was aimed towards me or Mujan, I had no idea, but frankly, I did not care.

"…And now, here we are! I'm having such a wonderful time! Aren't you, Painey Wainey?"

…_Painey Wainey?_

I tried my best to muster up a smile as Tidus and Gippal both snorted and started to choke on their food. I shot the two of them a look before turning to face Mujan, saying, "Yes, Mujan, I'm having a good time."

This time it was Rikku who snorted.

OoO

After the rather… _awkward… _moment that ensued as Mujan explained how the two of us met, everything went relatively smoothly. The extravagantly overpriced meal we ate was decent (But certainly not worth the gil), and the discussion became lighthearted as Tidus and Yuna began to talk about their future plans. For most people, this would be a pleasant experience, but for me, it was aggravating, strange, and made me want to vomit for several different reasons. I honestly wanted to just leave to the Thunder Plains, kill several hundred monsters, and then go back to my bed on the ship and sleep.

But I was stuck at that table; my arm was in Mujan's death grip as she listened intently to Yuna shyly tell the story about the first time her and Tidus "had fun" at a Blitzball game (Yevon save me now). I needed an escape, _any _escape, and fast.

At that moment, a loud orchestrated sound arose from the dance floor. I looked up to see various couples streaming to the floor, their hands falling in just the right places on their partner's bodies as they moved their feet in time to the music. I internally groaned.

Ballroom dancing, an _escape_?

Well, dammit, I was desperate.

"So… Mujan, would you like to go dance?"

She snapped out of what seemed to be a dreamy daze to look at me. "Oh," she cleared her throat. "It's okay Painey Wainey. I'm just going to sit here for a little while longer and listen to the rest of Yuna and Tidus' story. It's just so _funny_, and _interesting_…oh Yuna, you are quite the story teller! _Bmayca, luhdehia_." Then Mujan released her death grip on my arm and turned her full attention to Yuna, whom it seemed was reaching the climax of the story. (Ha… ha… ha.)

I rose from my seat and cleared my throat. "Well, Rikku, would you like to dance? That is, of course, if Gippal doesn't mind." It was clear that Rikku was in a similarly uncomfortable situation; Gippal was attempting to share some of his salad with her, as she adamantly refused his offer. Rikku's face lit up as she hopped to her feet and wiggled her… behind. "I'll take that as a yes?" I cocked an eyebrow at her.

"It's only a _HECK YES_! Sorry Gippal, but I'll be back, kay? Don't ya have too much fun without me."

She intertwined her arms with mine as we walked away to the dance floor.

OoO

"Ya know Painey, you're a real good dancer."

"Oh, shut up."

Rikku and I had managed to last through three different songs; my irritation with the night was growing in multitudes, but I managed to remain calm because… well, obviously because I was with Rikku, and she was in my arms. It also was a nice boost to my already swollen pride that Rikku was thoroughly impressed with one hidden talent of mine: ballroom dancing. (That's right, bitches. Paine can kick ass on the field _and_ on the dance floor.)

She giggled as I gently dipped her towards the floor. "Ya know ya like ta get compliments. And besides, I'm willin' ta bet it's better than hearin' Miss _Lover_ over there call ya 'Painey Wainey'." My eye twitched as Rikku mentioned this. "Pft, that nickname even hurt _me_. Besides… I think I'm the only one that gets the right ta call ya names like that, don't ya think?"

Whoa.

That blew me away right there. It was such a simple comment, and yet the backdrop – the _possessiveness_ – of it struck me right in my chest. Rikku, possessive of _me_? This was more of a boost to my pride than any verbal compliment could give me.

I lifted Rikku slowly towards me and scoffed. "You think so? Don't be so cocky, Rikku."

She laughed as I twirled her in time to the finale of the song. "I don't _think_ so Painey." She twirled back to me and grinned as I dipped her one last time. "I _know_ so."

OoO

It was soon after Rikku and I returned to the table that everyone decided it was getting late and that we should all go back home. Goodbyes were said, and awhile later I found myself alone with Mujan. (Gippal had pleadingly asked Rikku if he could take her home, and she was too afraid he would burst into tears for her to say no) We were walking slowly towards her home, which turned out to be a little ways past Besaid Island; for awhile we walked in silence, side-by-side, just enjoying the moonlit scenery. But eventually, Mujan slowed her pace and opened up a conversation.

"So, how long have you and that Rikku girl known each other?"

I was a little surprised she brought that up. I cleared my throat and slowed my pace to match hers. "Well, we've known each for a few years now. We used to go around Spira, along with Yuna, in the Gullwings crew, and help bring justice and peace to everyone."

Mujan laughed. "Much like superheroes, _hu_?"

I couldn't help but chuckle at this comparison. "Yes, I guess you could say that."

Mujan didn't immediately respond; we walked a little further along until we reached a tiny hut near where she and I had first met. We stopped in front of the hut, and she turned to face me with a smile. Curiosity was bubbling inside of me. "Why did you ask about her anyways, Mujan?"

She scooped up my hands in hers as she smiled delicately at me under the moonlight. I tried my best not to think about how pretty she looked, and how the moon illuminated her golden hair to look ridiculously irresistible. There was no doubt she was attractive to me, especially in that moment, but, strangely enough, it felt… _wrong_. I shook that thought off to the side, along with the thought that a certain perky blonde could be the cause of that bizarre guilty conscience, and focused on what Mujan said next.

"_E tuh'd ghuf, naymmo_… it just seems as though there is strong connection between the two of you, is all. Especially when the two of you were out there on the dance floor; I looked up from talking to Yuna, and _kuuthacc_, the two of you were simply in your own world." She dropped my hands and looked down onto the ground. "You two aren't dating, are you?" Mujan looked up at me, her pitch black eyes awaiting my answer, filled with anticipation – and what seemed to be fear.

I knew what I wanted to say.

I knew that I wanted to say _No, but you have no idea how much I feel for her._

I knew that was what I wanted.

I knew that was what was right.

But I didn't say that.

Instead, I chuckled and swatted the air in front of her lightly, as though to dismiss that idea. "No, there is nothing going on between the two of us. There never has been, and there isn't currently. She is just a colleague – a friend of mine – that I am relatively close to."

Why did I _say_ that?

Mujan's face lit up. "Oh," she beamed. "Okay. Well… it's just something that you should consider, _hu_? I'm definitely not _encouraging_ it – I do like you after all – but it's just something to be careful for."

My eye twitched.

"But there's something else I want you to consider tonight."

Huh?

She smiled, and leaned forward towards me; towards my face.

I knew what that meant, and if I was smart, I would have brushed it off, gave Mujan a hug, and said goodnight.

But I didn't.

I kissed her instead.

Shit.

OoO

It has been three years. Three long years since I last updated this piece of fiction. I reserve every right to bash my head in, throw books at me, or send ravenous Chihuahuas after me to punish me for making you all wait so long. But it's finally here, the next chapter, and you probably also want to kill me for ending it that way. Forgive me though, it's 4 in the morning, and I just _had_ to write this next chapter before it slipped from my mind. Thank you for reading this, for waiting… and now all that I ask of you is this: **REVIEW! **(Please.)

Also, this chapter is loosely based off the Frank Sinatra song, "Strangers in the Night".


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